Tensei
by Grievous daydreamer
Summary: While hunting for a bounty in Otogakure, Hidan and Kakuzu attract some unwanted attention. Orochimaru's time of transfer is approaching, and Hidan's abilities have made him a prime candidate...
1. Chapter 1

(EDIT 8/3/09: Fixed some grammar/spelling in the first four chapters, and took out a couple of the swearwords.:D)

Yay! First Naruto fic! Needless, to say, I don't own Naruto. If I did, Hidan would break out of that damn hole and Shikamaru would have hell to pay. (Even though I think he's cool too…)

This is dedicated to all of the manga fans, who, like me, are close to tearing their hair out every week because Hidan and Kakuzu STILL haven't appeared in the anime. And anyone who thinks Sora is a whiny little bitch. XD

One more thing before I start, this story is set 2 years before the Chuunin exams. Orochimaru's village, Otogakure is portrayed as a smaller, more evil version of Konoha, in a way… Anyway, just bear with me, and please, enjoy. 

Ch. 1

"How about this one then, Morita Hiromaru, Sound village nin, 20,000 ryou."

"That's the latest one?"

"Yeah. This was only issued this morning. Highest of the fresh bounties. Nothing less for you, Kakuzu-san."

"Fuck, it _reeks_ in here. Hurry up, damn it."

"Shut up. Wait outside."

"Gladly. I'm out of here before the smell of shit and rotting corpses sinks into my fucking clothes."

"No change there."

"What'd you say?!"

"As I was saying, the first to hear about it?"

"Oh, fuck you anyway."

"…Yeah."

"Good. Let's go, Hidan."

"_Finally_."

A few more complaints and a slam of a door, and the two Akatsuki were gone.

…

A few hours after they had left the bounty station, twilight was falling, and Hidan and Kakuzu were already racing through the rocky outcrop outside Otogakure. Their prey was located in the mountains behind the village. As per usual, Hidan broke the silence.

"Damn it, Kakuzu, you know our real target is on the other side of the continent? The Jinchuuriki?"

Kakuzu did not falter or slow his pace.

"This is just a side-trip. We'll be done in a few days."

Hidan rolled his eyes.

"You and your bounty shit. Why the hell do I have to come on these 'side-trips' anyway, seriously?"

Kakuzu paused before replying, casting an impatient glance at his stubborn partner.

"This guy's head is worth 20,000 ryou. A bounty that big doesn't come without risks."

Hidan cocked an eyebrow, and a smirk appeared on his face.

"What, are you saying you need my help?"

Kakuzu made an incredulous noise.

"You're always giving out that you don't get enough sacrifices through Akatsuki missions. This way, you're satisfied for a few hours, and I get my bounty."

It was one of the rare moments where Kakuzu left Hidan speechless. But not for long.

"Yeah, yeah, like I'm gonna swallow that shit. You're just too fucking lazy to do your own dirty work. Bastard."

"Shut up."

Kakuzu stopped without warning, and stared straight ahead, over the boulders. Hidan was unfazed. He caught up with his partner.

"What no comeback-"

Kakuzu flung out his arm and caught Hidan squarely in the midriff, stopping him in his tracks.

"What the fu-?"

Kakuzu whispered harshly to Hidan.

"I said shut the hell up! We're here."

Kakuzu motioned with his head. Hidan, following his gaze, spotted a jounin of the village running across the bridge that linked Otogakure to the mountain shrine. The jounin's jacket was covered in dried bloodstains, and he held a reddened katana in his right hand. His black bandana, emblazoned with his village's note sign and his facemask left only his eyes to be seen. He looked around fervently, and then continued his journey to the shrine. Hidan frowned.

"How the hell do you know that's him?"

Without a word, Kakuzu produced a wanted poster. Hidan stared at it in disbelief.

"He wears that's stuff all the time? Fucking weirdo."

Kakuzu groaned at the irony of it all.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

Hidan blinked in surprise.

"You're not even coming to watch? Asshole-"

"I have to keep watch here."

Indeed, Kakuzu had lost all interest in his bounty once he had made it to the shrine. No one was following… good.

Hidan glanced quickly from Kakuzu to Otogakure, and then up to the shrine. He stood up, silently.

"Whatever. I'll wipe the floor with his heathen ass."

A flash of black, and he was gone. Hidan, however, was not top of Kakuzu's worries at the moment. Though Hidan had never met him, Kakuzu knew Orochimaru through Akatsuki, and news from Sasori's spies, and he also knew what he was capable of. He'd heard too, that Orochimaru was planning to wipe out Akatsuki, just as Akatsuki members were ordered to kill Orochimaru on sight.

Kakuzu would not take that chance here. Here, in Orochimaru's own Sound Village, which was crawling with his underlings. It would be suicidal.

No, not even Hidan and himself could take them all, including the Sound Five. Kakuzu hoped Hidan wouldn't want to replenish his supplies in the village, his Akatsuki gear would stick out a mile. Kakuzu was glad he hadn't mentioned Orochimaru to his partner, he probably would have jumped at the chance to sacrifice one of Konoha's Sannin.

A faint, choking noise told Kakuzu Hidan was finishing up. Hidan had grasped the need for a silent kill well, but… Kakuzu groaned angrily. The fool would be starting his after-kill ritual now. They didn't have time for his stupid prayers.

Kakuzu leaped silently around the edge of village to the bridge, then to the shrine. Night was almost upon them, and he blended well with the coming darkness. Arriving at the shrine, he slid back the temple door and surveyed the scene before him.

True to form, Hidan lay across his Jashin symbol, several pikes and a katana protruding from his chest, scythe buried in the wall behind him. A motionless figure lay face down in a puddle of red only inches away. The shrine walls were flecked with blood. Kakuzu picked the corpse up roughly and slung it over his shoulder.

Glancing at the door again, he stepped over the stained tatami mats and nudged Hidan with a foot.

"Get up. We have to leave."

Hidan opened one eye.

"Kakuzu, I told you a million fucking times before, I got to do this."

"Just hurry up will you?"

"I can't rush this either! Shit."

Kakuzu froze. He could hear footsteps on the bridge. He kicked his prostrate partner.

"Get the hell up, now!"

Hidan's eyes flew open.

"Ow! What's your problem?"

But Kakuzu was already at the window.

"Move! Now!"

Hidan sat up, alarmed by the urgency in his partner's voice. He plucked the katana out of his chest, with a grimace. The door flew open. There stood another jounin, as well as the shrine priest, a look of horror on his face.

"Oh shit."

Hidan tore the pikes out of his body and jumped to his feet, bleeding profusely. The jounin started making handsigns, and the priest cowered behind him. Kakuzu quickly flung both of them across the room with a blow from his arm. The priest hit his head on the offering table and collapsed. The jounin hit the door, but managed to send shuriken flying in Hidan's direction. Hidan's scythe came slicing through the air, deflecting them all. Kakuzu smashed the window and jumped through it, bounty in hand.

"Come on!"

Hidan frowned, not wanting to leave the ninja alive, but the sound of more voices and feet outside caused him to leap out after his partner.

Shouts, shuriken and the occasional kunai followed them as they leapt down to the river under the bridge. Hidan easily deflected the weapons, and couldn't resist making an obscene gesture at the now crowded shrine before Kakuzu pulled him in the murky water. The shrine vanished from sight as the current swept the two Akatsuki and their bounty away from the chaos they had left in their wake.

…

"Kabuto-sama!"

The crowd of villagers parted as Kabuto approached the shrine and the scene inside it. A chuunin ran out of the temple door to meet him. Kabuto stopped in his tracks, and the villagers looked on anxiously. The chuunin inclined his head before reporting.

"Kabuto-sama, two shinobi have escaped by the river. A tracker team has just begun pursuit."

Kabuto nodded.

"Who did they get?"

"Sir. We gathered that the jounin Morita Hiromaru was their target. They have taken the body with them. The chief priest, Yuu, is also dead. Jounin Morita Hiroshi is injured."

Kabuto smiled coldly.

"Bounty hunters. Well, that's one more betrayer off our streets."

The chuunin looked puzzled.

"Sir?"

Kabuto fixed his eyes on the shrine.

"Morita was wanted for murder in his old village, and recently, in this one too."

Kabuto laughed.

"Hiroshi-san was probably on his to kill him when he stumbled on this."

The chuunin waited for him to finish. Kabuto glanced at back at him.

"You're dismissed. I must see this with my own eyes."

"Yes, sir!"

Kabuto leaped over the rest of the crowd and into the shrine. His nose wrinkled as the smell of blood reached him. In a second, he took in all the necessary information hat would have to be reported to Orochimaru.

That strange symbol painted with what looked like dried blood, heavy bloodstains inside and outside the symbol. The shuriken buried in the heavily damaged wall, the broken offering table by the two casualties, and the broken window.

It was easy enough to figure out what had happened, but something didn't quite fit. Kabuto could see instantly that Morita's body had lain in the pool of blood closest to him, and that he must have died from severe blood loss, probably from multiple wounds. That made sense.

But the pool of blood inside the symbol… It was just as large as Morita's, if not bigger, and Kabuto could see that there was more blood leading to the window. That didn't make sense. No one could survive that amount of blood loss, let alone escape through a window. Could the assailant's teammate have carried them? No, according to the report, there had only been two, and one was carrying Morita. It would be too difficult to make a quick escape carrying two bodies.

Kabuto bent down to the level of the two medical ninja, who were reviving Hiroshi.

"Has he spoken yet?"

One looked up.

"Only mutterings. He should be able to communicate soon, we're healing his concussion."

Kabuto stood up.

"Inform me when he can."

"Yes, sir."

The ninja turned back to their work. Kabuto looked around once more before heading for the door. A plaintive voice stopped him.

"...to-sama… Kabuto-sama…"

Kabuto spun around. Hiroshi was awake. The medical ninja motioned for Kabuto to come. Bending down again, Kabuto looked at Hiroshi intently.

"What happened, Hiroshi-san?"

The man took a deep breath to steady himself.

"They took nii-san..."

The man's eyes suddenly widened.

"They were…they were monsters…!"

"What did they look like?"

"Two...two men in black cloaks."

Hiroshi sat up suddenly, causing the other three to lean back.

"Is he dead?"

Kabuto took a few moments to calm Hiroshi down again, but he could not stop interrogating him yet. Two men in black cloaks… One of the medical ninja voiced Kabuto's question.

"Who? The priest?"

Hiroshi shook his head fervently.

"That man! He was – he was there!"

The three followed Hiroshi's finger to the bloodied symbol. Kabuto turned back.

"No, he escaped."

Hiroshi let out a troubled sigh and fell back.

"I couldn't kill him either…"

Kabuto stood up and walked out.

"That's enough for now."

Kabuto was troubled. Both of the Morita brothers were formidable, and all that blood…

Two men in black cloaks.

Kabuto sped up. Orochimaru-sama would need to be told as soon as possible. Especially if Akatsuki were involved.

…

"So Kakuzu-san has another new partner."

In his private lab under Otogakure, Orochimaru chuckled to himself. Fortunately, he had never been paired with the temperamental ex-Waterfalls nin, but he could recall many a time when Kakuzu had come back alone from missions, much to Pein-sama's chagrin.

But from what Kabuto had told him and what he had discerned from it, this new member was much more interesting than Kakuzu's other misfit companions. His ability to withstand fatal attacks (Orochimaru hesitated to call it immortality) was obviously the reason why he was paired with Kakuzu.

"Our tracker squad has already been sent after them, Orochimaru-sama. I'm sure they are gathering information as we speak."

Kabuto's voice took Orochimaru from his reverie. He turned to his subordinate.

"Very good, Kabuto."

He fingered his old Akatsuki ring.

"I have an order concerning the tracker squad, however."

Kabuto stepped forward.

"What is it, my lord?"

Orochimaru smirked.

"You will join them in pursuit. And you will bring your ninja info cards and record their next confrontation. I wish to study their jutsu."

Kabuto frowned slightly.

"Orochimaru-sama, there is still business I need to attend to in the village-"

"This is more important. The village can do without you for a few days."

Kabuto knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with further protesting, so he reluctantly agreed.

The mission must have been of great importance to Orochimaru; he sent Kabuto after the trackers at first light.

.. .. ..

Woo, first chapter. The scene is set. I'll eventually be changing the filter to Hidan and Orochimaru, cos there's not enough fics with them as the main characters. XD And I still have no idea whether this should be in the humour section or not…  Probably now. Not too sure about the title. I was never good at choosing titles =_= Ah well! Review if you like what you see so far. 


	2. Chapter 2

I'm using the fan theory that Hidan can recover quickly in this chapter, just so you know.

Please enjoy!

Ch. 2

"Damn it, do you have to count the money _every_ time?"

Hidan and Kakuzu were sitting on the steps outside the bounty station, catching a moment's rest before beginning their pursuit of the Jinchuuriki.

"Oy. This guy tried cheating me out of money before… Fifteen thousand and ten, twenty, thirty…"

Kakuzu resumed his task. Sighing loudly, Hidan lay back, hands behind his head.

"So what? You caught him, fucker's not gonna do it again in a hurry."

"Since when did you become so naïve?"

"Whatever."

Kakuzu evidently would not move until he was satisfied, so Hidan took the time to observe his injuries. Four stab wounds to the chest and one to the gut; and they were healing quickly. Hidan had no idea why he was blessed with fast and miraculous recovery as well as eternal life. The way he saw it, if the wounds had all the time in the world to heal, what was the point in speeding the process up? He couldn't and wasn't denying its usefulness though; many a limb had somehow reattached itself (with help from Kakuzu's threads) within a month of its amputation.

Unfortunately, this recovery, like all forms of healing, required rest, which he normally got enough of during his after-kill ritual. Right now, Hidan was feeling the side effects of having his last ritual unceremoniously cut very short. That and enduring what seemed like a year's worth of swimming and running in a single day. He could feel unconsciousness tugging at his mind; silencing his thoughts and occasionally making the world before him turn hazy.

He had to shake his head hard each time his eyes closed, and he eventually dragged himself back into a sitting position. His rare times of fatigue was one thing he did not complain about; he was quite self conscious about it, and he viewed it as a potential weakness in his otherwise foolproof fighting style.

Kakuzu knew full well what was happening to Hidan, though they had never spoken about it. He finished his money-count and glanced at his exhausted partner. In a rare moment of pity for the annoying bastard, (he did just get Kakuzu 20,000 ryou) he cleared his throat and stood up.

"There's a town nearby in Wind country. We should go and get some supplies. It'll be dark soon, we'll need lodging."

"Thank fuck."

Hidan was lying across the steps again, one arm over his face. The pity Kakuzu had felt a moment before vanished. He kicked his partner in the side.

"Get up and start walking or you'll spend the night here!"

He pointed a threatening finger towards the toilets that hid the bounty station. Hidan moaned and scrambled to his feet.

"Fuck no! I'm going I'm going!"

"Hurry up."

It wasn't just the approaching twilight that made Kakuzu want to move. They were being followed, he was sure of it. He didn't want to start a battle in an isolated area like this where they couldn't escape or blend in with a crowd. He would prefer to lose them than confront them, they were running late for their assigned mission already. The two Akatsuki glanced around the clearing, then sped away, leaving only a trail of dust in their wake.

…

Kakuzu was right; Kabuto was trailing them from a safe distance. It had been hard going, but he finally caught up with the Akatsuki as they rested. The tracker squad was close behind, waiting for orders.

Their targets were moving again. Kabuto signalled to the trackers to start moving too. In his mind, a plan was already forming. He would do anything for Orochimaru-sama, but he wasn't prepared to wait days to record the Akatsuki's next fight. They would have to be drawn into confrontation and it would have to be before they reached town. Being Akatsuki, and therefore S-class criminals, they would be experts at escape tactics.

Kabuto glanced back at the tracker team. Orochimaru-sama would forgive him for stirring things up a bit if he got what he wanted… Having decided on a plan, Kabuto increased his speed.

…

Kakuzu was the first to detect their presence. Cursing, he threw some shuriken back in their direction. Hidan fell behind and stopped first, scythe at the ready. Kakuzu landed a few yards away from him. The occasional rustling of the undergrowth told them they were surrounded. Kunai burst from the bushes on their right; a flash of red knocked them off course and Hidan's scythe buried itself in the bushes, followed by a muffled gasp. Hidan grinned and tugged it out. There was a 'whoosh' as the unknown shinobi fled to a new hiding place. Hidan didn't pursue. He didn't need to. Grinning widely, he brought his scythe blades close to his mouth, and deftly licked off the spilt blood. His skin darkened, and drawing blood from his foot he dragged it around him, staining Jashin's symbol into the dirt.

"You know, I'm seriously pissed off right now. And when I'm pissed off, I tend to wanna make people suffer. A lot."

With that, he thrust one of his pikes into his left thigh. The accompanying scream was enough to rouse the others shinobi into action.

Shuriken flew, and were stopped by Kakuzu's earth-style hardening technique. He wasn't going to let Hidan have them all. He had to admit he was surprised at the energy Hidan had gained with the prospect of a fight.

Kakuzu's eyes caught movement and two shinobi leaped out from behind. They wore purple, and their headbands were engraved with the music note. Sound ninja. Kakuzu whirled around, caught both of them by the necks and squeezed.

More yells, accompanied by Hidan's maniacal laughter tore through the air. Kakuzu dropped the two lifeless shinobi just as one was going for Hidan.

"Hidan, left!"

Hidan turned sharply to see the shinobi falling rapidly in his direction. He cursed and quickly brought a pike up to stop the shinobi's kunai.

"Damn it Kakuzu! You forgot one!"

Kakuzu was unfazed.

"Just kill him."

Hidan shifted a little, and the shinobi took the chance to stab his wind-style-enhanced kunai deep into Hidan's wrist. Hidan wrenched it away.

"Aah _shit, _that stings."

The shinobi smirked and leaped back, making handsigns. Hidan looked up incredulously, wrist dripping.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet."

His scythe flew through the air. The shinobi's expression changed to one of confusion. He leapt out of the way, eyes never leaving Hidan. Kakuzu watched with arms folded.

"Hurry up, or I'll take him. We don't have all night."

"Back off Kakuzu! This one's mine."

Hidan ran at the shinobi, scythe whirling. His prey jumped into the trees, and Hidan followed. This one was smarter than the others were, but Hidan had a score to settle; he wasn't going to give up easily.

Kakuzu left Hidan to his hunt and started covering their tracks. The Sound would surely send out another squad when this one didn't come back. Their bounty must have been important.

He gathered the corpses and burned them with his fire-style mask. However, there was not much he could do with the blood, other than cover the worst of it with dirt and dead leaves.

No matter how quickly Hidan jumped from branch to branch, his opponent was always a few branches ahead. He was fast as well as smart, or maybe just cowardly. The shinobi must have been planning something, because letter bombs started appearing on the branches Hidan landed on. Cursing, he dropped down a level as branches and twigs rained down behind. He swung his scythe up through the trees to where the shinobi was last. It connected with a tree-trunk. He pulled himself up above the exploding forest and searched for the shinobi again.

His keen sight enabled him to spot the ninja hiding about thirty feet away. Hidan silently sped towards him as the last of the explosive notes went off. He took out a pike, and with all the force he could muster, sent it shooting through the air and right through the shinobi's side. The ninja swallowed his cry of pain and tried to move away. He collapsed, clutching the pike on his branch. Hidan landed deftly in front of him.

"I'll be taking that back, you pathetic piece of shit."

Shuddering, the shinobi slowly looked up at him.

"B-but how can you…? You s-should be dead!"

"Immortal. Damn you're slow on the uptake."

Hidan hunched down and wrenched the pike out, making sure he hit as many vitals as possible on the way out. The shinobi cried out in agony. Hidan calmly pushed him off the branch and heard a satisfying thump a few seconds later. He released his jutsu and his skin paled again. The ninja was already dead; it was too late to sacrifice him.

"Damn it all."

That was two sins in one day, first the incomplete ritual, now only one sacrifice. Taking out his rosary, he brought it close to his face and prayed for forgiveness.

Ten minutes had passed by the time Hidan came out of the forest. Kakuzu was sitting on the path when he saw Hidan walking towards him.

"What the hell took you so long?"

Hidan kept walking.

"Fuck you man. You just sat there."

He reached his Jashin symbol and lay down on it. Kakuzu stood up angrily and marched over.

"You're not delaying us another half hour! Get-"

Hidan was undeterred.

"Kick me all you want shithead, I'm not moving."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked a small distance away to recheck his money.

…

Kabuto was not among the now deceased shinobi team. After giving his orders to the trackers, he hid himself in the trees and recorded the whole scene. He was still reeling from the brutality of both Akatsuki. The chuunin trackers were no match for them – they didn't even get a chance to use jutsu. A jounin team would have been more effective - Kabuto still didn't have a clear idea of the bigger one's – Kakuzu's – jutsu were like. But Hidan's… Kabuto had never seen anything like it. It wasn't just powerful, by taking advantage of his immortality; it let Hidan know whether his attacks were deathblows or not even if the opponent was hidden. But it wasn't just its effectiveness that scared Kabuto. It was also terrifying to behold.

Hidan's grotesque other form instantly reminded Kabuto of that of a skeleton; and with his three-bladed scythe and black cloak, he could easily pass for the grim reaper.

His job done, Kabuto left the two Akatsuki and headed for Otogakure. Orochimaru-sama would find all of this very interesting, no doubt.

…

Orochimaru had ordered Kabuto to leave him while he viewed the recording, and forbid anyone to disturb him.

What he saw excited and intrigued him no end. His old associate Kakuzu acted as surly as ever, but his partner was unlike anyone Orochimaru had ever met before. He was short-tempered, offensive and highly amusing to the Sannin, a devout Jashinist – a religion that had almost died out in recent times – with an unusual battle style. And of course, any new jutsu engaged Orochimaru's interest. But above all there was his immortality, any doubts Orochimaru had before had been blown away by the recording. He could survive any fatal injury, and he was still in the prime of his manhood, though his religion and headband revealed ties to an older time.

It was Itachi all over again. Orochimaru craved what Hidan had naturally. True immortality, no stings attached, unlike Orochimaru's own form of evading death; switching bodies just before the current one dies from his jutsu.

Orochimaru gave a start.

Hidan couldn't die. He was an experienced fighter; he must have withstood powerful elemental techniques in the past. What prevented his body from withstanding Orochimaru's jutsu?

If his theory was correct, that meant that if he transferred to Hidan's body, he would never have to transfer again. Orochimaru gave a triumphant laugh and grinned at the ninja info card in his hand. He would finally have immortality!

No, he couldn't celebrate yet. There was much that needed to be planned. Hidan wouldn't submit easily, and Kakuzu was a formidable opponent even for a Sannin. He was also a member of Akatsuki, and Pein would never let an immortal fall into Orochimaru's hands. It was a very high-risk venture. Careful planning was essential.

But Orochimaru would not be put off. If he wanted something, he made sure he got it.

.. .. ..

Yay! Another chapter up! God I love fight scenes. Now I have to go to bed…=_=


	3. Chapter 3

Third chapter! ^_^ Tis a short one though. Ah well. The next one will be longer. Enjoy!

Ch. 3

In a hostel room in the land of wind, far away from Orochimaru's underground quarters, Hidan sneezed loudly. Apart from waking himself up from a much-needed sleep, he also woke Kakuzu, and was rewarded by having the spare futon thrown on top of him.

When his complaints were successfully muffled, Kakuzu returned to his bed, but not for long. Only ten minutes had passed when the sun came through the crack in the curtains and onto his face. Squinting, he groaned and got up.

Only after he had thrown his Akatsuki cloak on over his ninja gear did he lift the futon off his partner. A torrent of abuse greeted him, and he paid it no heed.

"You should have held it in then."

More curse were aimed in his direction, accompanied by, "I'm fucking starving!"

"Hurry the hell up then an get dressed."

"That's gonna be fucking hard after someone tried to fucking suffocate me with a fucking mattress! Seriously, _why_?"

Kakuzu dropped the futon and started walking to the door.

"You woke me up."

Hidan sat up and ran a hand through his silver hair.

"Oh boo-hoo. It was a sneeze, Kakuzu, shit. Someone's probably talking about me."

Kakuzu snorted and opened the door. He knew Hidan was religious, annoying so, but superstitious? That was new.

"Now you're being paranoid. Get up, we leave in five minutes."

He closed the door, cutting short Hidan's indignant reply.

Hidan knew Kakuzu well enough to know that five minutes was all he was going to get, and that included time for food. He scrambled out of bed, calling Kakuzu every name under the sun, and pulled on his gear. He slowed down briefly to check the state of his injuries. They hadn't healed yet, but they gave him no trouble as he dressed. It would have to do. They had at least two days' travel ahead…whoop di fuckin' doo.

He grabbed his scythe, flung the door open and dashed downstairs. There was no way he was missing his only decent meal in three days. He'd order the most expensive thing there too, just to piss Kakuzu off.

As Kakuzu predicted, they donned their hats and left the hostel barely five minutes later. They slipped, unnoticed by the unsuspecting inhabitants, from the village.

As soon as they were out of sight, they changed direction and flew off around the desert, heading northwest.

Hidan could understand why they were going at twice the normal pace; Kakuzu's 'side-trip' had delayed them two days, not to mention the encounter with the Sound Ninja. What Hidan didn't understand, however, was why they kept going back on their tracks and changing direction periodically. Naturally, he voiced his confusion after these tactics had gone on for a while.

"You lost or something? We better not be going on another fuckin' side-trip."

Kakuzu didn't look at him.

"You're an idiot."

"That's not answering my question, asshole!"

"You really think the Sound would just let us go, and not wonder what happened to that team they sent out?"

"So?"

A vein pulsed in Kakuzu's temple.

"'So', we have to shake off the pursuit. God, how did you manage to avoid hunter nins after you left your village?"

Hidan scoffed.

"I didn't avoid them, I just killed 'em all. I didn't waste my time trying to avoid them."

"Hopeless."

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't feel like explaining it in small words."

Kakuzu increased his pace and launched himself ahead of his aggravating partner, while Hidan stayed behind, scowling.

"We don't have time to fight more shinobi, so take that retarded look off your face before I kill you."

"Fuck you in your stitched up ass, seriously. This sucks."

…

Kakuzu needn't have worried; they encountered no one and covered quite a lot of ground on the first day. The village where the Gobi Jinchuuriki lived was still two days away, maybe more if they did not keep up the pace. Like many times before, they decided to resign themselves to being late. Getting the Five-Tales wasn't the most important thing on Akatsuki's list anyway.

They cleared the desert and decided to stop for the night. Kakuzu had finally given in to Hidan's whining. They set up camp in a small patch of forest, where the trees would give them cover from the road and the land of wind's seasonal gales. After they had eaten, Hidan threw himself on the ground, closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Kakuzu looked up from his map of the continent.

"What's wrong with you now? You can't still be tired from that fight."

Kakuzu's tone was gruff, but Hidan didn't stir,

"Well I am, deal with it, seriously. That Sound fucker – you know, the one in the village – it must have been his jutsu or something.

Kakuzu returned to his map.

"His bingo book record said he used poisoned weapons."

Hidan sat up.

"Aw, shit."

Kakuzu was unconcerned.

"You stabbed yourself with his katana, didn't you? Idiot."

"I didn't know the shithead poisoned the fucking thing!"

He fell back down again.

"Shit, man. I fucking hate getting poisoned. Takes forever to get the shit out of your system."

"Don't use the enemy's weapons in your stupid rituals then."

Kakuzu sounded bored.

"Think before you stab next time."

"Would you quit the lecture and tell me what type of poison that guy used? You've done missions with Puppet boy, what'd he tell you about poisons?"

Kakuzu didn't answer for a few minutes. Eventually, he folded and put away the map. He stared at Hidan for a few seconds before answering.

"It's hard to tell, you being immortal and all. Most likely it's a strong sedative. One hit and the victim collapses and falls into a coma, dies within the day. Sooner, depending on the dose."

"That's fuckin great. It _is_ gonna takes forever to go."

"Put up with it."

There was no retort; Hidan was already asleep.

…

Orochimaru was planning his next move. Kabuto had told him all of what he had heard the two Akatsuki discuss outside the bounty station. He knew where they were going, and if they were to be taken as an example, what the rest of Akatsuki were after. He knew that he himself must confront Hidan, there was no one else in Otogakure strong enough to bring him in. He would have to bring others, of course, the Akatsuki would have to be separated, i.e., Kakuzu must be kept busy while Orochimaru dealt with Hidan.

His current body would last him another few months, he had plenty of time to snare his new prey, but Orochimaru was not the most patient of the three Sannin. He knew he wouldn't have to wait quite the full three years before changing bodies, and he wanted this one now.

Down in his underground lair, he took up a map of the continent (almost identical to Kakuzu's) and followed Akatsuki's journey with a long white finger.

It would have to be an ambush. Kakuzu would be expecting pursuit

Orochimaru smiled, showing all of his teeth.

He had decided on his plan of action. If the Kusagakure was where they were headed, he and his followers would be there to greet them.

.. .. ..

The next chapter will be more exciting… :D Please review! TT-TT and thank you to those of you who have, I loves ya like a Mr Turtle loves not being taken out of his tank. XD


	4. Chapter 4

Yay! I'm so happy! People like this!!! XD -spazzes-Yay for the fun chapter, too! Please enjoy! God I love writing fight scenes! Though I may be building up the expectations of my oh so craved readers too much…and I've been watching waaay too much Excel Saga. -is shot-

Ch. 4

Hidan hadn't improved much overnight. He was determined not to let Kakuzu see it, but there were dark shadows under his purple eyes, and as they leapt past towns, rivers, mountain ranges and all sorts of terrain, his breathing became steadily more ragged. The poison evidently hadn't left yet. Hidan's less-than-perfect health meant more stops, and their journey time lengthened.

Kakuzu had not yet been fooled into complacency by the apparent lack of enemy encounters, and he never let the breaks go on for too long. He knew Hidan needed rest, and if they were drawn into confrontation, the last thing he wanted to worry about was if Hidan could hack it in his weakened state, but they were so close to their destination now. Hidan could sleep all he wanted after they had secured the Bijuu.

The terrain around them was changing again. It became less hilly, and the trees grew further and further apart. Forests shrank to woods; woods dwindled to lone trees, separated by wide spaces of grassland. The sun was setting, turning the sky red. They hadn't lost as much ground as they thought. There, on the horizon, barely visible behind the tall grass, lay Kusagakure. Kakuzu heard Hidan breathe a sigh of relief.

"Don't let your guard down."

Kakuzu could almost fell Hidan's exasperation.

"I know, I know! Every fucking time…"

"And yet, no matter how many times I tell you, you still don't learn."

"Shut up, Stitches."

"That's origina--!"

Kakuzu's words were cut short as a shuriken caught the edge of his mask. He cursed. He had let his own guard down as he had been telling Hidan off for doing so. Hidan slowed down to face the attackers, but Kakuzu yelled over his shoulder at him.

"Keep going! Get to the village!"

Hidan grimaced.

"Tch. Fine."

Hidan leapt after his partner, but to his surprise, three masked ninja burst from the tall grass and landed in front of him. He grinned and swung his scythe straight at them. The shinobi scattered as the scythe slammed hard into the ground. Two headed for Kakuzu. The other landed neatly on Hidan's right, and another stepped out from the undergrowth on his left. Then, Hidan noticed the music note engraved on their headbands and the purple ninja gear.

"Bastards just been on coming, don't ya?"

His red scythe sliced through the air again, aiming for the one on his left. He side-stepped as the scythe whirled past. It continued its journey around to the other younger shinobi, obviously less experienced, who only just avoided it. It cut the cloth of his headband, and it slid off as he leapt away.

Hidan hurriedly flung a pike at the other shinobi to distract him, and jumped after the other, scythe circling and ready to tear through the grass. There was something weird about the other shinobi. He wanted to get rid of this one first before he faced that one. And where was Kakuzu? A rushing sound, and some shouts told him Kakuzu was about 20 yards away. He must have used the Fuuton mask. Hidan wished they hadn't been separated. The Sound bastards would be dead by now.

The grass provided less cover than trees for the unfortunate shinobi, and the second time the scythe came his way he wasn't quick enough to avoid it. The tip of the first blade grazed his cheek, and drew blood. The scythe was whipped back into Hidan's waiting hands.

The shinobi wiped his cheek and drew his shuriken. Hidan's eyes never left him as his tongue travelled down the blade, his foot tracing that all too familiar shape on the ground. The shinobi shivered and the shuriken left his hands.

Hidan laughed and stood in the line of fire. He watched gleefully as the shinobi's expression changed from disbelief to shock as the shuriken struck. Hidan let out a satisfying sigh as the throwing stars pierced his skin. The young shinobi cried out and fell to his knees, clutching the reddening spots on his arms and chest. A snigger escaped Hidan's mouth, and his skin took on its characteristic black and white appearance.

"Feel's good, doesn't it? This is Jashin-sama's gift to humankind. Suffering!"

Slowly, he drew out a pike from his cloak.

"But this pain is nothing compared to the pain before death! And living through it feel even better!"

With a grin, he buried the pike deep into his abdomen. The shinobi watched in horror. His scream of agony travelled far, and even made Kakuzu falter as his Katon mask finished off the last ninja.

The dying shinobi gave a strangled moan and collapsed. Hidan waited in his symbol for his body to stop shaking and the blood flow to lessen a bit. He cast a furtive glance over his shoulder to where the other shinobi was last. He had disappeared. This put Hidan even more on edge, and he looked around quickly, trying to spot him through the endless grass. The light was fading fast, and Kakuzu still hadn't come.

Hidan swallowed, and listened carefully for any tell tale signs of the well-hidden Sound ninja's whereabouts.

"Well well, that certainly is a frightening jutsu."

Hidan spun around as the ninja appeared in a puff of smoke.

"You think so? How'd you like to experience it yourself?!"

He flung his scythe at his enemy with all of his speed and power. He wasn't going easy on this one. The shinobi didn't stir, but caught the scythe in mid air. Hidan frowned and tugged it back.

"Fucker!"

The shinobi smirked.

"Quite a sharp tongue you have there."

He let his own tongue roll around after he said this, creeping Hidan out. It was unnaturally long.

"Who the fuck are you, weirdo?"

The shinobi tutted.

"Such vulgarity to a fellow of the organisation."

Hidan was momentarily thrown for a loop.

"…Wha?"

The ninja chuckled. Hidan blinked than angrily shook his head. It was true that he didn't know much about the others members of Akatsuki, but he was certain he'd never seen this guy with them.

"Lying heathen. Shit, I'm not stupid!"

The scythe whirled around his head, and he launched it in the shinobi's direction again.

The Sound nin laughed and jumped out of the way.

"Don't tell me you're just a one-trick pony."

Hidan cursed and leapt after him, brandishing his scythe and a pike.

…

Orochimaru was enjoying this. He had no idea Hidan would be this affected by his words. He was very easy to play with. His train of thought was interrupted by a pike whizzing past, close to his face. He turned and landed among the branches of a lone tree. The pike buried itself in the dirt below.

"Getting serious now?"

The evidently furious Hidan caught up a second later, stopping under the tree.

"I'll slash that fucking tongue to pieces if you don't keep it in, snakey!"

He tore his pike back out of the ground. Orochimaru smiled and bit his thumb. He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his summoning tattoo.

"'Snakey' has a good ring to it, Hidan-kun."

Dragging his bleeding thumb down his arm, he made the necessary handsigns and slammed his hand on the branch.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Hidan backflipped as a gigantic snake appeared on the spot where he last stood.

"Holy shit…"

Orochimaru immediately sent the snake after his prey. The missing nin's taijutsu was very impressive. His weapon attack may have been slow and crude, but he certainly wasn't. This was going to be a lot of fun.

…

It took all of Hidan's concentration to keep avoiding the snake. It was huge, but its vast bulk didn't impede it in the least. He was practically bouncing off the ground, landing on the grass and leaping off as soon as he saw the snake preparing to strike again. He searched fervently for an opening, ready to thrust his scythe into its neck at the first opportunity.

That snake guy was starting to really freak him out. Hidan was positive he had never seen him before, so how did he know his name? And who the hell gave him the right to call him '-kun'? He'd barely known this creep ten minutes and he hated his heathen ass already.

The snake was starting to tire. Lightning fast, Hidan jumped straight at it and swung his scythe through the air. It connected with scales and pierced deep, deep into the flesh inside. The snake let out an angry cry. Hidan pulled on the rope and swung himself around to face the shinobi again. The scythe wrenched free of the snake's neck and Hidan whipped it back. The giant snake thrashed around for a few moments, getting dark blood everywhere. It started to fall, head hanging off, and slammed onto the ground, flattening and staining the grass all around. Hidan realised he was panting, and quickly quietened his breathing. That damn poison was still affecting him. He looked up, and to his surprise, his enemy was applauding him.

"Not every S-class criminal can kill a son of Manda in less than a minute. And without a single handsign."

Hidan glared at him.

"What's it to you? Sad I sacrificed your pet?"

Indeed, the dead snake's neck wound was not just a plain cut. Hidan had literally carved Jashin's symbol into it. The shinobi looked at it with interest.

"Hmm. Artistic."

Hidan cocked an eyebrow. What was with this ninja? His yellow, slit pupils eyes locked back onto Hidan's lavender ones.

"I want you all the more now."

The tongue came out again. Hidan gritted his teeth and gripped a pike.

"You want a piece of this? Come down and fight me yourself, you snakey bastard!"

The snake nin laughed infuriatingly. Hidan tensed, ready to launch himself at the shinobi.

"Though the nicknaming has its charm, my real name is Orochimaru, Hidan-kun."

Hidan froze. Orochimaru? This freak of nature was the Orochimaru? He cursed under his breath. Of course, it made sense – he had been told about his summoning creatures, and been given a full description of the Sannin before. How could he have missed that? He was starting to wish he'd paid more attention back then. But if this guy was a Sannin…

To Orochimaru's disbelief, Hidan grinned.

"Orochimaru, huh? Prepare to rejoin your deceased pet!"

Finally, someone who would make a decent sacrifice. Jashin-sama would thank him for this, and as soon as they got back to the hideout, he was going to rub this in Deidara's face.

Orochimaru looked amused.

"I'm afraid I'll be much more of a challenge than that snake, Hidan-kun."

"Stop calling me that!"

Three pikes flew at him, but Orochimaru deflected them with a powerful blast of chakra. Hidan caught one as it fell.

"Temper, temper, Hidan-kun."

Orochimaru raised a hand, and brought it quickly back down. From the high grass all around burst hundreds of shuriken, loaded with wire. Hidan stared at them in surprise.

"What?!"

It was too late to dodge. The shuriken flew past and tangled with each other. The wires wrapped themselves around Hidan tightly. He pulled at them, with no result.

"Shit!"

Orochimaru grinned and started making his required handsigns.

"Hidan!"

A shout made both of them freeze, and Kakuzu burst through the grass a small distance away. He had abandoned his cloak, and two of masks were missing. Orochimaru wasted no time. The last handsign made, his neck extended at an alarming rate and his head raced towards Hidan. There was no time for the soul transfer.

Kakuzu's arm sped towards the figure in the trees. But it was too late.

Hidan saw the laughing white face flying at him and struggled against the wire. The grotesque snake nin's face passed his own a split second later, and drove its pointed canines into Hidan's neck. Hidan cried out. The wires dropped to the ground. He lashed out with his pike at the head as it retreated, but missed. He saw Kakuzu strike Orochimaru, but the snake nin, still laughing, vanished in a puff of smoke.

Then, a wave of pain, unlike anything he had ever felt washed over his body. He dropped to his knees, clutching the bite, clawing at it desperately. He clenched his fists and ground his teeth, trying to block the unnatural pain out. Dimly, he heard Kakuzu run to him and crouch down to his level.

He opened his mouth to tell him he was late, but all that came out was a strangled yell as the pain intensified. The world around him darkened, and he lost his fight for consciousness.

.. .. ..

Why do I make Hidan suffer so much? I don't know, I'm sadistic, maybe? Well he is too. So bleh. XD I stole a lot of this chapter from the actual Naruto, heh heh…ah well.


	5. Chapter 5

Saw 'The Dark Knight' yesterday! Weird but oh so good. Heath Ledger was sooo creepy as the joker. O-o XD I don't think I should be typing this while listening to the Mamma Mia soundtrack… Oh well. Now, to end my ramblings, please enjoy!

Ch. 5

Kakuzu cursed. Hidan was out for the count. He dragged the unconscious immortal to his feet and put an arm around him for support. Before setting off, he observed the new mark on Hidan's neck, just below the teeth-marks. Three round, black spots, each with its own 'tail' sweeping out to join with the next dot, adorned his skin like a bizarre tattoo. Kakuzu sighed. It was definitely a curse mark. His partner was in for a tough time, even by his standards.

Kakuzu thought back on what had just happened. He had never heard Hidan cry out with anything less than pleasure where pain was concerned, but that yell after Orochimaru bit him…

That led to more questions. What in the world did Orochimaru want with Hidan? How did he know about him? How could he see enough potential in this Jashin fanatic to mark him with his curse? Was he trying to kill him off? Kakuzu scoffed.

He sincerely doubted anything that held only a 90 per cent chance of death for normal people would give Hidan any trouble.

But still… he started to walk, half dragging, half carrying his injured partner towards the village. On the way, his thoughts returned to Orochimaru. Seeing his dead followers lying in the field he had fought them in made Kakuzu wonder. Orochimaru must have considered getting Hidan worth sacrificing his subordinates' lives. But why?

Hidan moaned and tensed again. Glancing at him, Kakuzu wondered how long this would last.

Their hunt for the Gobi would have to wait. Anything that concerned Orochimaru and an Akatsuki member needed to be reported to the leader as soon as possible.

…

At that very moment, Orochimaru was launching himself away from the scene with speed. Kakuzu had managed to wound his arm, and he knew from the feeling that it must have been badly sprained, maybe fractured.

But that didn't matter. Arms healed, the curse mark on Hidan's neck would never go away. It would continuously eat away at his mind and body, for as long as he lived. Orochimaru had no doubt that the mind games had already begun.

He was curious to know if Hidan's strong faith would help him through the torment the mark must be inflicting. Orochimaru wasn't worried, of course. Smirking to himself, Orochimaru glanced back over his shoulder.

"I'll see you soon, Hidan-kun."

No one escaped him after they had been cursed.

…

The mind games had, as Orochimaru predicted, already begun. Hidan knew he must be dreaming , because there was no way in hell that such as strange, sparkling gold background existed in the real world. Whoever thought up this place had pretty bad taste.

He continued to stare up at the dream world in disbelief, wishing he would wake up before something weirder happened.

Waves of pain were still washing over him every so often, but he was growing accustomed to it. That damn snake… If he ever saw Orochimaru again, he'd rip him into little shreds and throw the shreds off the tallest thing in the immediate area. There was no way he'd taint himself by ingesting _his_ blood. He'd rather d-

Hidan faltered. Something else had appeared in the dream world. He looked the figure up and down. It was a perfect copy of himself. Hidan cursed. Here comes the weird shit, right on time…

The figure was staring right back at him, familiar look of boredom on its face. Without warning, it spoke.

"Have you forgotten them?"

Hidan eyes widened. He gripped his scythe.

"I'd give you points for the decent physical imitation, but you don't talk like me at all. What the fuck are you talking about?"

In response, the figure flipped him off, with a very familiar look of contempt playing around his eyes.

"I fucking knew it, cold-hearted son of a bitch. All these years, we've been living, doing whatever Jashin asks-"

Hidan snapped at him.

"Hey! While you're in my head, you call him Jashin-sama, bastard."

The figure made yet another obscene gesture and continued.

"-you fucking forgot about the people you grew up with and loved. Shit, man. When's the last time you had an actual bond with someone? What kind of fucking life is that?"

Hidan wasn't expecting this, and his glare changed to an expression of surprise. A second later, he regained his composure.

"What the fuck do you know? You trying to get me angry? That won't work."

The figure stood back ands scoffed.

"Shows what you know. You don't recognise me either? I'm the voice in your head that you've been ignoring for half a fucking century."

The figure quickly moved back to his first point.

"Some life we have. This immortality thing is fucking joke, Hidan. Don't start denying you've wanted to die before, just to get this shit over with. Fuck, I bet you'd be thinking it right now if I wasn't here. Do you remember when you started thinking that?"

Hidan was getting angry. He didn't like the direction this conversation was going. He held his scythe at the ready.

"One more word, asshole, and we'll see how long it takes _you_ to remember where your body parts went."

The figure laughed, the exact same laugh as Hidan's.

"You think you can hurt me with that? Go ahead, it won't shut me up."

Hidan scowled.

"My head, my rules."

The scythe hurtled towards the imposter. It sliced him clean in half, and he evapourated. Hidan breathed a sigh of relief. That bastard was getting way to talkative.

"-You started wishing you could die after everyone close to you left you behind!"

The voice came from behind him. Roaring, he spun, scythe cutting through thin air. He was getting too worked up. The voice would only goad him more, but he couldn't help it. He'd never wanted to shut something up this bad. The voice was toying with him, but he wasn't in the mood to play along. Just this once, he took Kakuzu's advice, and took a deep breath, willing himself to remain calm. He wouldn't let this shithead know he was getting to him, so he put up the most uncaring front he could think of. He looked up calmly, and ended the conversation in a single sentence.

"Shut the fuck up and get away from me."

But despite his efforts, the voice still wasn't deterred.

"And you know what?"

Hidan glared up at the air above him, where the voice was now coming from.

"You'll never get to see Jashin-sama, ever. Never get to hear him praise you for all your hard work. What a fucking shame, huh?"

Something snapped, and Hidan's bored expression darkened. The voice had hit a nerve.

Whether the voice had noticed this or not, Hidan didn't know or care. How did that son of a bitch know that would aggravate him?

"You know who else you'll never see?"

Then, the voice started naming people. Family, friends, lovers. Memories were flashing through Hidan's mind, and try as he might, he couldn't block them, or the voice out. His anger rose up, making him want to tear the place apart. In desperation, he covered his ears. He let out a yell, and maintained it until it drowned everything else out.

When his breath finally ran out, there was silence. Hidan was breathing heavily, and he felt warm, too warm.

A softer voice came from his right.

"You want to see them again, don't you?"

Hidan glanced at the speaker, himself again, but said nothing. The copy continued.

"There is a way..."

Hidan blinked and looked up properly.

"What? A way to what?"

The figure locked eyes with him.

"A way for you to join them, in death."

Hidan stared. Slowly, the figure brought a hand up to its eye. The fingers pulled at the skin below, revealing the socket and capillaries snaking round the white. Hidan gave a sharp intake of a breath - the skin had pulled away completely. The eye was no longer purple, it was gold, with a snake-like vertical pupil.

"I can give you your eternal rest."

.. .. ..

Done done. This chapter was a nightmare to write. I must have changed it about fity times! But it's done now, ;)

I have cousins staying over for the week and I have to entertain them... So no updates for a while. But thank you, everyone who reviewed so far! I'm glad people like this story and don't think the plot is the weirdest thing they've ever read... o.o; Byes! :D


	6. Chapter 6

I'm back! And insanely happy! One more week until Hidan and Kakuzu appear in the anime! XD I'm not obsessed at all…¬.¬

Ch. 6

Kakuzu had booked a room in a shady hostel on the outskirts of the Hidden Grass village. As he entered to inspect the room, he dumped his still unconscious partner on the nearest piece of furniture. Luckily for Hidan, it turned out to be a small sofa. Before moving to check on the sleeping quarters, Kakuzu stole a quick glance at Hidan. He had quietened down considerably in the last ten minutes. Kakuzu had almost torn the immortal's throat out when he had started shouting on the street again. Fortunately, the few onlookers presumed he was drunk, and left the two Akatsuki alone. Now, Hidan was breathing quietly, bar the occasional groan.

Kakuzu left him in the other room, and sat down on the bottom of the bunk beds. He was still waiting for Pein to contact him. He couldn't start a telepathic conversation with the leader, he could only respond to Pein.

He was getting impatient about the mission and worried about Orochimaru's plans. According to Sasori, the only way to get rid of the curse seal was to bring the victim to the brink of death, where upon the mark would truly activate. The piece of Orochimaru would come out, and have to be defeated. Kakuzu massaged his temples. That would be almost certainly impossible to accomplish with Hidan as the curse host.

Kakuzu thought hard. A suppresser might work, until a better solution was found. He would try it tomorrow; he was at his limit now, and needed rest.

He was about to lie down when he happened to look through the open door to the sofa. He looked back at the top bunk, and sighed. Finally, a night without that bastard's snoring.

The night past without incident. Hidan was till battling the curse mark. Kakuzu glared at his partner, as if the coldness of his stare would wake him. He would perform the sealing jutsu when the bastard woke up. Despite his resolve, he wasn't prepared to wait on him, and he went out to get breakfast, locking the door behind him.

…

Back in the dreamscape, Hidan's resolve was wavering. This impostor had succeeded in making him doubt himself. He shook his head again.

"That's impossible! No one can kill me, dumbass!"

The snake-eyed Hidan looked unconvinced.

"No one's ever perfected a tensei ninjutsu until now."

Hidan laughed trying to dispel his doubts.

"You're bullshitting."

The impostor laughed with him, except this time, the laugh wasn't like Hidan's. It was more of a low chuckle, and its tone was much more condescending.

"If you really feel that way, then forget my offer. But it will always remain open. For as long as you live."

Hidan raised his scythe threateningly.

"Get the fuck out of my head."

The impostor smiled.

"I will, for now."

He started to fade, and Hidan let out a breath.

"Shit, that took forever."

"Oh, one more thing."

Hidan raised an eyebrow, cursing under his breath.

"What now prick?"

Silence. Then-

"If you even want to speed up that taijutsu of yours, use my little present."

"Huh?"

At that moment, Hidan felt the mark burn. With a jolt, he realised it was spreading. He swore and held onto it.

"Not this shit again!"

The smiling impostor disappeared fully without another word, but Hidan barely noticed. The rest of the dreamscape was fading, and everything was turning black. Suddenly, he felt determined to get out of this place. He wasn't going to wait for another freak to appear. On a sudden impulse, he shut his eyes.

He opened them a second later. The weird landscape had gone. There was a ceiling in front of – no, above him. He was lying on something soft. It was daytime, and he could hear people outside on the streets, selling food and objects of interest.

He sat up suddenly, heart pounding, skin burning. How long had he been out of it? Whatever amount of time it was, it had certainly done the trick. Hidan felt incredible. He never felt so powerful before. His chakra was going crazy, multiplying every second. He had gained a new level of agility, which he demonstrated by leaping off the sofa, out the window, off the adjacent wall and landing precariously on the water tank on top of the hostel.

But that wasn't all that had changed. He jumped down onto the roof, ready to go back and get his things. He stopped as he caught sight of his reflection in the water tank. His expression clouded as he took in the black markings that covered almost half of the right-hand side of his body.

Even as he watched, the markings shone and moved further across his body. He grimaced as they made their way across his face. He could've sworn one went into his eye.

At that exact moment, another change happened. An overwhelming bloodlust erupted in him. He had to kill something, maim it, make it suffer or he would go mad.

He leapt down into the room to retrieve his scythe. The townspeople below would do nicely.

He stood on the windowsill and gazed hungrily at the people below. It had been so long since he had a potential massacre on his hands. He was going to enjoy this. Grasping his rosary in one hand, he tensed, ready to pounce on the nearest one; a merchant who had set up his stall a few feet away from the hostel walls. He leapt- but froze in mid air.

Some all-too-familiar black tendrils had speedily tied themselves around his wrists, ankles and waist. He barely had time to realise what was going on before he was flung back through the window and thrown on the floor. He turned his head and glared at his partner, who was standing, equally furious in the doorway. Two of Kakuzu's hearts were holding his down, and try as he might (and did) he couldn't break free. Kakuzu suddenly landed at his side and pressed a foot down hard on his chest. He bent down; eyes narrowed and voice icy.

"I told you a million times before; this is a stealth mission. No killing sprees, and for god's sake control that fucking curse mark."

"Don't you fucking lecture me again!"

Hidan's temper rose dangerously high.

"Let go of me you bastards! I'll slice you up so bad no one will know what you were, Stitches!"

Kakuzu straightened up, but didn't take his foot off Hidan.

"Big words for Orochimaru's new lackey."

"_If you fucking mention that shithead's name again I'll-"_

Hidan stopped, and seeming out of sheer stubbornness, manually tried to rein in the effects of the curse. The bloodlust disappeared, replaced by his usual feeling of hatred towards Kakuzu whenever he did anything like this. At once, he felt the marks of the curse retreat back the way they came, making him shiver. Hidan's energy was also draining. Once the curse mark had ceased activity completely, he felt suddenly out of breath and his tensed muscles went limp.

Only then did Kakuzu take his foot off. It returned a second later in the form of a hard kick to the side. The blow almost winded Hidan more.

"Aw, you fucking-"

He aimed a punch at the offending leg, but it turned out as a pathetic swipe, and then the arm fell back to the floor. The two hearts let go of him and merged with their main body.

Hidan pulled himself into a sitting position. He rubbed the cursed spot with his hand.

"What the fuck just happened?"

He got no answer.

Kakuzu had just finished covering the floor around Hidan in characters, and was now doing the same to Hidan.

"Hey! Answer my que- what the hell are you doing?!"

"Just stay still."

"Wha?"

"And if you even touch those symbols, I swear I will kill you."

Hidan looked closer at the characters. They were written in blood. Then, he heard Kakuzu making handsigns.

"Hey, hold on a sec-"

Kakuzu's hands clapped down on the curse mark, silencing Hidan. His eyes widened as he saw the markings rush from their starting positions up his arm to the mark. It wasn't a pleasant sensation, but he could stand it much easier than when he first got the curse mark.

The last of the symbols circled the mark and froze, staining the skin around it. Hidan realised his body had stiffened while the jutsu was going on, and flung out his hands to catch himself as it relaxed again. He turned back angrily to Kakuzu.

"What the hell did you do?"

Kakuzu 'hmphed' and turned away.

"It'll help keep the mark under control, since you obviously can't handle it yourself. No need to thank me for saving your useless ass. I don't know why I bother."

Hidan got slowly to his feet.

"I didn't ask for you to butt in, asshole. I was handling it fine by myself."

Kakuzu snorted.

"Going to massacre a whole village and give the game away to any bingo book holders in the area, not to mention letting that curse take you over is handling it really well."

"Shut the fuck up! Can we just go already? You're pissing me off, seriously."

Hidan hated when Kakuzu used sarcasm, and especially when Hidan was feeling like shit.

His partner may have replied to him, but he heard nothing. The effects of Kakuzu's jutsu suddenly hit home, and he fell back onto the sofa.

…

Back in Otogakure, Orochimaru sat in his lair and listened to three Otonin spies' reports.

"We're sorry, Orochimaru-sama, but we lost them after they left Kusagakure. The masked one is very skilled at shaking off pursuit."

The three shinobi contritely bowed their heads. Orochimaru waved it off.

"Well, you'll just need to try harder to hang on to them next time. You're dismissed."

The three vanished in a flurry of smoke. Orochimaru waited until the smoke had fully dispersed before getting off his throne-like chair. He walked rather aimlessly around his lab, running his long, pale fingers over the nearest pieces of equipment. Kakuzu would shake off any more pursuers easily now that he was on his guard. But now that Hidan had been marked, there was little else to be gained from shadowing them.

Orochimaru knew Hidan would survive the curse mark, whether his mind or body rejected it or not. That was where the problem lay. The curse mark's potency lay in its ability to kill off shinobi that were too weak to handle it and also, those shinobi that resisted the temptations put to them during the initial stages. In the past, if a test subject survived the mark, Orochimaru knew immediately that they were practically his. Hidan's immortality nullified that process of selection. Orochimaru could only rely on his wits for this one, even if his spies did track the Akatsuki pair down again, they couldn't just waltz in and read Hidan's mind.

He would have to play the opportunist and take his chance nearer to the time of transfer. Perhaps Hidan only needed more time to consider his offer?

Orochimaru looked away from his lab equipment and out at the nearest training ground. The newly formed group, the Sound Five were there, sparring.

It wasn't as if Hidan was his only candidate for a vessel…

.. .. ..

Reviews, critical or not, are always welcome! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all for your kind reviews! :D I'm insanely happy!! (For the reviews and the end of the fillers! 8D)

I've finally kicked my relatives back to the country. :D I'm back to school next week (bleh) and that means less frequent updates… but I've got the next two chapters after this written up, and the rest of the story outlined, so no worries yet. However… if I stop writing, I stop typing and I stop updating, so let's pray that doesn't happen. But enough of my pessimistic ramblings, on with the story!

Ch. 7

Kakuzu was tracing the Gobi's movements on his map when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

'Kakuzu, what's the situation? Why won't Hidan answer?'

Kakuzu sighed. Finally, Pein-sama had contacted him.

"Leader, the mission is not our main concern right now. Hidan has been marked by Orochimaru."

'What?'

Kakuzu told Pein as much as he knew about the ambush outside Kusagakure. When he had finished, Pein was silent for a moment. Then-

'Get back to base as soon as possible. Zetsu is in the area, I'll tell him to keep an eye on the Five Tails.'

"Hidan is still asleep-"

'Wake him up. If you can't, carry him, drag him, throw him, I don't care. Just get him to me immediately.'

"Alright, alright."

Kakuzu's head grew silent and the conversation ended. He stood up and walked over to the figure slumped on the couch. After a few seconds of careful consideration, Kakuzu kicked the back of the couch hard. It tipped over dangerously far, toppled and landed roughly on its back. The accompanying 'thump' was soon joined by the usual groaning and cursing as the former occupant of the sofa woke up.

"Shit, Kakuzu! What the fuck have I done now?"

"Get up, we're leaving."

Hidan hoisted himself into a sitting position, running a hand through his tousled silver hair, and down to the curse mark.

"Where are we going now?" he grunted, not bothering to hide his lack of enthusiasm.

Kakuzu threw his partner's cloak over his fallen sofa.

"Back to base. Get dressed, and for god's sake, hurry up."

Kakuzu turned away to make sure everything was packed. Hidan flung the cloak off his head, where Kakuzu had skilfully aimed it. He glared at his partner's back, but proceeded to change nonetheless.

"Shit, I never get to throw you off the sofa. Why do you always wake up before me, seriously?"

…

Due to the urgency required in Pein's message, they teleported to the nearest Akatsuki hideout to wait for him. They sat in silence in the deserted cave, waiting for any telltale shimmer in the air. Kakuzu looked over at Hidan every once in a while. The silver haired man was unusually quiet, lost in his own thoughts, his hand occasionally rubbing the mark. Kakuzu turned away again. It was the idiot's fault they were in this mess. He drew too much attention in Otogakure.

"When's this prick going to show up?"

Kakuzu sighed inwardly. Hidan was evidently back to normal. He looked up, just in time to catch several hazy and clear figures appearing around them. Pein-sama had summoned everyone. Was it really necessary?

The leader's static cracked voice announced his arrival.

"Hidan, Kakuzu, get into the correct positions."

Hidan rolled his eyes. It wasn't like they were standing on the King of Hell statue.

"What's the point? We're not sealing anything, seriously."

However, he and Kakuzu traded places, Hidan beside Sasori, with Kakuzu to his right, and further on, Kisame and Zetsu's hologram. Across from them, a space, then Itachi, Konan's hologram, Deidara and finally, Pein.

Pein explained briefly why they had gathered, and Hidan was subjected to several glances in his direction; cold indifferent ones from Itachi, Konan and Zetsu, while Kisame, Deidara and Sasori looked strangely amused. Not to mention the death glares from Pein and Kakuzu. All this staring was really getting on his nerves. His temper was on a very short fuse as a result of recent events, and it wasn't long before it exploded.

"Quit staring and get rid of this fucking thing already!"

Some of his fellow members complied to the former demand, with the occasional condescending remark. Pein raised a hand for silence.

"Enough. Sasori, what do you propose we do?"

The puppeteer's shell moved to face Pein.

"There is only one way to get rid of Orochimaru's curse mark."

Sasori paused. Hiruko swivelled to face Hidan.

"You must be brought to the brink of death. The mark will awaken fully and spread across and out of your body. It must be sealed then, when all of it has emerged."

Hidan was unimpressed.

"So I'm fucked."

Sasori thought for a moment. However, Deidara was the one who put forward an idea.

"Danna, what if we expended all Hidan's chakra? A normal person would die, but Hidan might only collapse, un."

Hidan gave a start.

"Hey! What do you mean 'we'?"

Sasori ignored him, and Hiruko nodded slowly.

"That might work…"

Kisame grinned.

"Good, shall we try it?"

Deidara sniggered, and Konan addressed Pein.

"Could they fight him here?"

Hidan looked around at the other members uneasily, murderous intent shining in their eyes. Even Kakuzu was looking happy at this new turn of events. Hidan raised his hands submissively.

"Whoa, hold on. I'm not saying I couldn't wipe the floor with you bastards but-"

Kisame, Deidara and Kakuzu launched themselves at him.

The others watched calmly as the fight unfolded. Amid the explosions, clanging of metal, and the sound of elemental techniques, yells could be heard.

"Hidan! Stop using taijutsu!"

"What the hell?!"

"Summon your chakra or you will die."

"You're not giving me a chance, assholes!"

…

After several minutes of intense battle, the four involved lay panting heavily in different parts of the heavily damaged cave. Deidara sat against the back wall, nursing a broken arm, Kisame used the wall for support as he tied up Samehada, blood trickling down from his shoulder and chest. He had been unfortunate enough to get caught in Hidan's jutsu. Two of Kakuzu's hearts had been reduced to pools of goo, and his threads were busy reattaching a severed leg.

Hidan was in the worst shape. By a slight misjudgement of distance on Kisame's part, both of his hands had been cut off just above the wrist and lay beside him, Kakuzu's threads already working on them. Like Kisame, he was bleeding freely from the shoulder and chest, and his neck had been badly damaged as a result of Deidara's not-so-successful idea of exploding the mark off.

But the mark remained. Not only that, it had spread over his whole body, breaking through Kakuzu's Fuuja Houin during the last 10 minutes of the fight. Pein and Sasori studied the mark from a distance with interest. The design of the curse mark was unique to each host, and Hidan's was no exception. His mark resembled dark flecks of blood. The only features that distinguished it from the real thing were the colour and the repeated pattern.

"Here's your chance…bastards…seal the…fucking thing."

But Sasori shook Hiruko's head.

"No, it has not fully emerged. I was afraid this would happen. The curse has to be fully developed before we can attempt to remove it."

Hidan groaned in exasperation.

"How the fuck do we do that?"

Sasori lowered his head, and said nonchalantly,

"I don't know. You'll have to ask Orochimaru himself."

Hidan grimaced, using his recently reattached hands to push himself to his feet.

"Fine by me, seriously. I'll make him talk before I send him to hell."

Pein focused his ringed pupils on Hidan with a cold stare.

"You won't be going anywhere."

"Why the fuck not?"

Kakuzu huffed.

"You idiot, you'd be playing right into Orochimaru's hands by going after him!"

"Exactly! If you couldn't kill me what makes you think he could?"

Pein turned away and addressed the others,

"The rest of you are dismissed."

The uninjured members vanished in puffs of smoke and blurs of static. Itachi and Sasori remained.

"Deidara, Kisame, tend your wounds then continue your missions."

The two nodded, then vanished along with their partners. Now, only Kakuzu and Hidan were left, and Pein's hologram.

"As I was saying Hidan, you are not to go after Orochimaru. He wants your body; you'd be bringing it to him on a silver platter. We do _not_ need an immortal Orochimaru on our hands."

Pein's words had quite an effect on Hidan. It had never crossed his mind that Orochimaru wanted his body, he had just thought the snake-nin had it in for him. He paled, a disgusted look on his face.

"That's- that's fucked up!"

Across the cave, Kakuzu sighed. Idiot. Pein paid no attention to Hidan's reaction.

"You'll have to be hidden until we either find a way to remove the curse mark or kill Orochimaru. There's an active base just north of here. You will stay there until further notice."

Hidan was livid.

"What?! What the hell is this, house arrest? I'm not being locked in some fucking cave for as long as it takes you shitheads to bump this freak off!"

Kakuzu held his head in his hands. What was Pein-sama thinking? There was no way Hidan would go along with this…But, he thought, it would mean he'd get to work alone again.

But Pein was not finished.

"I knew you weren't going to take this lying down, but you have no choice in the matter, Hidan. You're a valuable asset to this organisation and I don't intend to give that up."

"I'm a fucking 'asset'?"

Pein now turned to Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu, as his partner, it will be your job to make sure he stays put."

"WHAT?!" Hidan yelled across the cave.

Kakuzu only just stopped himself from doing the same.

"Leader, you can't be serious… What about Zetsu?"

"No, Kakuzu. Only you can handle him. I'll see you at the base in five minutes."

The transmission fizzed out. The two Akatsuki sat in bewildered silence, until Hidan spoke up.

"We could make a run for it."

"…I'm going to kill you."

.. .. ..

Hope you liked…gasp! No Orochimaru in this chapter…oh well. :P I stopped typing in the middle of this to watch the raw ep 72…lol. XD I'm so obsessed.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm baaack again. :D

Ch. 8

It had been two months. Two fucking months since Hidan had seen the sky behind those damn rocks that made up the cavernous base. Needless to say, he spent most of abundant free time wandering around, retracing his steps countlessly through all the underground rooms. He rarely saw Kakuzu anymore, maybe once or twice a week at best.

During the first week of Hidan's quarantine, true to form, he had tried every conceivable way to escape. His attempts were duly stopped by Kakuzu, who watched him like a hawk for the first fortnight.

Eventually, like an animal growing accustomed to his cage, his attempted breakouts grew sporadic and gradually dwindled as the time went by. He was not a patient man by nature, but over the course of his life it had been beaten into him to a certain degree. So, he rode it out by going about his habitual walks, occasionally trying to get away just to annoy his partner, ignoring the fact that he was stuck here too.

He kept his sanity intact with thoughts of escape when Kakuzu's guard was finally down. Maybe if he stayed quiet for another month, their communication would dry up completely and he'd be able to pummel his way out before Kakuzu came running. He wasn't sure where he would go when he got out – it wasn't like he had a home to return to – but he loathed being cooped up in one place.

Occasionally, other members would show up, returning to the hideout for a few nights of recuperation after a successful mission, or to give Hidan and Kakuzu news about Orochimaru. These reports normally came from Zetsu, though once or twice, Sasori and Deidara came themselves to echo Sasori's Sound spies on the Sannin's movements, as they did today.

Orochimaru grew increasingly docile; Otogakure had frown relatively quiet, and the snake nin's ambitious plans were seemingly put on hold.

"Great, so the fucker's not doing anything, everything's back to fucking normal, _can we leave yet_?"

Akatsuki's artists looked at each other. Hidan and Kakuzu sat on the rocks opposite, looking irritable. Deidara shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry Hidan. Leader hasn't given the all clear yet, un."

Sasori continued.

"His movements may have stopped, but that could only mean his current body is wearing out. And although he has stopped moving around, his network of spies hasn't. If you set foot outside now, you'd be in even more danger than before."

Hidan leaned back, his expression nonchalant.

"Sounds fun. What if his spies 'happen' to run into difficulties and don't make it back?"

Deep inside Hiruko's shell, Sasori 'tched'. A shadow of anger crossed Hidan's features. He fingered his rosary.

"Don't give me that! I haven't offered Jashin-sama a sacrifice in two fucking months! That's the height of blasphemy, seriously. Not that you heathens care, but I've a standard to keep up."

Sasori and Deidara bore this with a kind of resignation. Kakuzu, sick of the mere sight of his troublesome partner, let alone the sound of his whining, raised a hand to silence him.

"Hidan, stop complaining. This is not going to help your situation. Leader has his own self-centric dogma; do you really think he would let you go just to carry out yours? We have to stay put."

"Kill as many people as you want once we kill Orochimaru, un!" interjected Deidara.

Sasori huffed.

"He won't be that easy to destroy, brat."

Deidara gave a small smirk, and stood up.

"Come on Danna, we're running late. Let's leave the troglodytes to their cavernous haven."

Sasori grunted in agreement, and shuffled away with his partner. Hidan stood up abruptly, breathing hard. He didn't know what a troglodyte was, but he took it as an insult. He stalked off, muttering darkly. Kakuzu watched him go, eyes conveying utter disdain for the immortal. He could be such a drama queen sometimes.

A small explosion made some stalactites shudder. Looking back over his shoulder, Hidan caught a brief glimpse of a large clay owl soaring out the gargantuan entrance, before an equally large boulder shut out the glaring sunlight again. The only light that reached the cave was through the gaps in the rocks high above.

He ground his teeth, and broke into a sprint. Seconds later, he slowed, and slammed his hands against the cold, immovable granite at the very back of the cavern. He was getting out. Today.

After voicing his main concern to the others, it had dawned on him that he had never gone this long without offering his god a life. He hadn't abandoned his religion while he was imprisoned here; he'd never do that. Everyday, he performed a ritual on himself, praying fervently to Jashin, promising a real offering soon, asking for guidance, and assuring him of his unaltered loyalty.

But he knew it wasn't enough. Jashin craved carnage, and Hidan wasn't delivering. If this lapse went on for much longer, he would never be forgiven.

He knew exactly where he would go now. He'd go after the one who caused him to be locked up like this. It was all that bastard Orochimaru's fault.

Hidan looked up, breaking his train of thought. His knuckles were red, and blood was forming a small puddle by his feet. It also dotted the wall with dark flecks. He had been punching the rock in his frustration. He deftly wiped the blood off his and onto his clothes.

A small trickle of light played around his feet, spotlighting the crimson puddle. Hidan glanced down at it before turning his gaze upward to sweep the rocky wall and focus on the source of the light sliver. High, high above, a gap had formed from where an earthquake had dislodged some of the gravel between the slabs. He stared at it. It had the words 'escape hole' written all over it.

"But how the hell do I get up there?"

The light made him squint, and he returned his gaze to the floor. Smaller drops of blood surrounded the puddle, decorating the otherwise sandy floor. Hidan was hit by a sudden feeling of déjà vu. They looked like the marks of his curse. He recalled Orochimaru's parting words.

'If you ever want to speed up that taijutsu of yours, use my little present.'

Hidan was pretty certain taijutsu wouldn't help here, but he'd need a chakra boost to climb all the way to the ceiling.

In a way, since he was escaping mainly to deliver vengeance on the snake-nin and his cronies, it wouldn't hurt to use their 'gift' against them. He flashed a grin at the dancing spot of light and released the curse.

The grin faded as the marks spread, replaced by a look of concentration as he focused on controlling it.

…

Sasori's guess at the reason for Orochimaru's lack of movement was much closer than Hidan's offhand presumption. Orochimaru's current body was beginning its descent into death. He was easily exhausted and had to increasingly rely on Kabuto and his other favourites to take on the village's affairs. He had expected the body to last longer, at least until Akatsuki were located again. However, there was still no sign of them. Hidan could not be found, and Kimimaro was not ready.

As Orochimaru stared at the latest concoction of chemicals Kabuto had placed at his bedside table, he felt panic jostle for attention among his pessimistic thoughts. He was even more determined to secure Hidan's body at this point in time. He loathed this period of his soul transfer, the pain, the waiting, the gradual growth of disability until the day of death. When he had Hidan's body, all that would end, and he could finally spend eternity studying jutsu.

"Orochimaru-sama, please take the medicine. If you die before we find him, all of our efforts will have been wasted."

Orochimaru tore his eyes away from the vermilion liquid in the glass to his subordinate's face.

"Hmm. Your newest cocktail of drugs isn't going to transport me to him, is it?"

Kabuto looked slightly offended. There was a long pause, before his face became passive again and he bent down to the bedridden Sannin's eye level.

"Orochimaru-sama, are you sure you can handle Hidan in your weakened state? From that injury you came back with after biting him, he seems formidable."

Orochimaru smirked.

"That was Kakuzu, Hidan didn't get near me, the fool. And I have your medicine, after all. Time to test it, I think."

Kabuto looked unconvinced.

"Orochimaru-sama, let me go search for your vessel. I will return in three days, and if I haven't found him, I'll prepare a selection of your loyal subordinates for transferring. If that's not satisfactory, I offer you myself. But if we don't have him within the week you must transfer!"

"Kabuto-"

Kabuto fell silent under Orochimaru's piercing gaze.

"-I truly am fortunate to have such a loyal companion as you serving me. Go, and bring back Hidan."

Kabuto nodded, and stood up.

"I'll leave immediately, Orochimaru-sama. But please-"

The corners of his mouth twitched as he turned away.

"-Remember to take your medicine."

Orochimaru gave a humourless laugh.

"I'll take it, on the condition that you keep your failed missions numbered zero."

A courteous nod, and Kabuto was gone.

.. .. ..

Yay there's a fun chapter next. Well, it was fun writing it… o.o;;; Invisible ham for all reviewers! :D and thank you so much to everyone who has!


	9. Chapter 9

Hihi! I'm back again! :D

Here comes the hard part of the story… Damn. Or maybe it just felt hard because it took me forever to write. Hope you like it! :)

And to anyone who hasn't read anything by allismine or firefly, do so now. Feck this fic, go! :O

That being said, reviewers get love and win. :)

Ch. 9

Controlling his chakra and the mark at the same time was no easy task for Hidan. After running at the wall several times, losing balance and landing deftly on the bedrock floor again, he was starting to get annoyed. His chakra control had never been his strong point, but he considered it adequate.

He took a short break to calm himself again. Once his breathing had slowed, he turned back to face the wall, gripping the handle of his scythe for reassurance.

"This time- You better be ready you slimy son of a bitch, I'm coming for you."

He ran at the wall, still muttering darkly. He got three steps, four steps; five- then he heard a sound among his echoes. Cursing under his breath, he hurriedly climbed the vertical slope, and hid himself in the shadow of the boulders far above.

Kakuzu walked out of the nearest tunnel. Hidan could see from his lofty spot that his eyes were narrowed, combing the cave.

Hidan held his breath, resisting the urge to drop a stone on his partner's head as Kakuzu ambled underneath him. The masked man stopped, and stood below Hidan for what seemed like an hour. Hidan thought he felt a sneeze coming on. What timing! Fucking cave air.

Then, Kakuzu slowly titled his head back and stared up at the shadowy ceiling far above. He was staring right at Hidan. Hidan froze, and all thoughts of sneezing vanished.

Kakuzu squinted; luckily for Hidan, he had chosen a spot near one of the light sources. Kakuzu eyes kept adjusting to the light, leaving the area around it in total darkness, or at least that's what Hidan hoped.

"Hidan."

Hidan only just caught his jaw before it dropped. How the hell did Kakuzu know he was here?

Kakuzu shielded his eyes.

"I know you're there, I'm not blind."

Hidan bit his lip. He was bluffing, he had to be. He'd done it before, a couple of weeks back, and it had worked, much to Hidan's humiliation. He's bluffing; he's seriously bluffing. I'm not moving unless he comes up after me, which he won't, the lazy fuck.

Kakuzu continued to stare upwards, frown deepening. Suddenly, he cursed and turned away. He walked to the tunnel entrance, and glanced back.

Hidan was right in the middle of an almost silent whoop of triumph, and he abruptly stopped.

But Kakuzu had heard nothing, and continued on his way. Once his footsteps were out of Hidan's earshot, he breathed a long sigh of relief.

"Shit, I thought he'd never leave. Fucking stalker."

It was only then that Hidan realised where he was. On the ceiling. Grinning, he thrust his scythe between two boulders and threw his weight on the handle, forcing the rocks to move. The mark lent him strength, and gradually the hole widened.

Quite a few pieces of gravel and chipped rock fell and landed noisily below, but no one came.

A couple of minutes later, Hidan strapped his scythe onto his back. Gripping the edge of the rock with both hands, he hoisted himself and out of his prison and into the sunlight.

As his eyes adjusted, the landscape became clearer. He was standing by a stream, water sounds drowning out anything else that may have been there. The ground was sandy and uneven, with a gentle slope. There was only moss and boulders and stunted trees. In the distance, mountains rose up, forests growing on their slopes. The base was near Takigakure, the Village hidden in Waterfalls, Kakuzu's old village.

Hidan smirked. So that was why the asshole acted so complacent, it must've felt like home in that damp cave, or something pathetic like that.

Takigakure was in a small land north of the Land of Fire, so Otogakure was almost due east. Hidan ran a hand along the handle of his scythe, and kicked off, jumping down the hill, avoiding the stream but keeping parallel. He had experienced drowning before, and didn't want to repeat it. It would slow him down.

When he reached the bottom of the hill, he stopped by a small waterfall to replenish his water supply and to suppress the curse mark again.

He splashed some water on himself to- it was hot out, and he wasn't going to be stopping all day. He stood up again as the water stilled, reflecting a flash of purple behind him. Suddenly, he whipped out his scythe and spun around, flinging it into the undergrowth behind him. A young man in purple ninja gear, with his dark grey hair tied up in a ponytail fell out. He had evidently just avoided the weapon. Hidan grinned and tugged the scythe back out.

"Sneaky little bastard, aren't ya, creeping up on me from behind. Well I'm not playing ninja with you today, blind bastard."

The 'blind bastard' was in fact in the process of fixing his glasses.

"Whoa, hold on – I'm not here to start a fight."

Hidan laughed.

"I don't give a rat's ass why you're here, seriously."

He held up his rosary.

"Consider yourself lucky – you're gonna put me back in Jashin-sama's good books."

…

Kabuto ducked as the scythe flew his way again. He had to think fast – he wasn't prepared for a fight. He was pretty certain Hidan would kill him if this went on for too long. He probably hadn't noticed his headband – Kabuto wondered briefly if he should have worn his Konoha one – but he had to get Hidan to sop and listen before then. There was only one thing for it.

The scythe sliced through the air again, and Kabuto braced himself. As it was about to strike, Kabuto jumped back. It slammed into the ground, and Kabuto clamped his hands around the handle, holding it down.

"Wait! … I know where you can sacrifice as many people as you want!"

Hidan gave him a withering look.

"I fucking knew it. Not only do you suck at persuasion, you're a cowardly bitch."

Kabuto felt the scythe move, trying to break free, but the ground and his own grip held it for now. Wrong choice. Time for another approach.

A pike whistled past, he gasped and veered to the side. In that second, the scythe broke free and only just missed his thumb. Kabuto quickly leaped back, gaining a height advantage by landing on a nearby boulder.

"I know where you're going. Please, hear me out."

…

Hidan's voice was laced with malice.

"Tell me then, before I cut that fucking tongue out."

This boy was getting more annoying by the minute. He got the distinct impression this shinobi was trying to appease him. But, thought Hidan rashly, he'd mess with him a little before sending him to the afterlife. If he wanted to suck up to him, he'd let him, for now.

"Come on, out with it. Tell me where you think I'm going. You get it wrong, I get a free shot, how about that?"

The coward just stood there and looked relieved.

"…Otogakure, to Orochimaru."

That caught Hidan off-guard.

"Lucky guess. Someone wants you alive."

"Not at all. I know what happened to you, I'm one of Akatsuki's spies."

Hidan surveyed the ninja with renewed suspicion.

"How do I know you're not Orochimaru's? It's easy to pass yourself off as Akatsuki, but I'm not that stupid, seriously."

"Well then, don't you think that if I was Orochimaru's, I would be trying to get you to Otogakure instead of delaying you?"

Hidan arched an eyebrow.

"How the hell should I know? Anyway, how are _you_ supposed to delay me? You couldn't stop me lifting a finger."

The shinobi hung his head.

"That's true. I'm not much of a fighter. But-"

He gave a benign smile.

"-I can raise the alarm."

Hidan expression darkened.

"if you fucking go near that base-"

The shinobi laughed nervously.

"I take it you don't want to spend another month in there, huh?"

"Who the fuck asked you?"

"I didn't mean to offend you, Hidan-san."

Hidan narrowed his violet eyes. His name seemed to be attracting honorifics lately.

"Who the fuck are you, seriously?"

The shinobi gave another warm smile.

"My name is Yakushi Kabuto. I hope that by asking about me, you've lost the urge to kill me?"

The edges of Hidan's mouth twitched.

"Nope, that urge's still going strong."

Nervous laughter again. Hidan was pleased to hear a slight quiver in Kabuto's voice.

…

Kabuto wasn't quite as intimidated as he acted, but he kept it up for effect. His next few lines would be dangerous ventures, he only hoped he had gained enough of Hidan's trust to avoid getting stabbed with that scythe. It was essential he gathered information on Hidan's motives.

"I can see why you'd want to leave Akatsuki if they are keeping you locked up like that."

He gestures back to Hidan's escape hole. Hidan frowned.

"I'm not leaving them, this is just-"

The missing-nin paused. Then the words came, with a hint of sarcasm attached.

"-a side trip."

Kabuto inwardly cursed, but kept his face passive. There was something else he needed to ask.

"Then why are you going to Otogakure?"

Hidan regarded him with open suspicion.

"Why should I tell you?"

Kabuto quickly gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Just wondering…" he uttered casually.

"Yeah? Well don't."

Hidan turned his back on Kabuto and started walking off.

"if you keep sticking your nose into my business, you'll lose it."

Kabuto knew he was losing him. He only had one more day until Orochimaru expected him back. He had to act fast.

"Well," he called airily, "Don't do anything rash or Orochimaru will never give you your death wish."

…

Hidan froze in mid-step. He turned and stared at Kabuto with a look of utter disbelief, hands curling into fists.

"How the hell-?"

The thoughts came, and he left his question unfinished.

His death wish… he hadn't thought about that for so long. Why was that? Because of Akatsuki?

Yeah, like any of those bastards could change his thoughts on anything. But…why had he wanted to die? That was easy. There was no purpose in a life that never ended. No 'life goal' or some spiritual shit like that. Sure, he'd had one, or it might be more fitting to say Jashin had one for him. Confronting heathens, converting some, killing and/or sacrificing others that wouldn't convert. Years and years of his life devoted to that. After every kill, willing Jashin-sama to take him too, let him rest. And always disappointed.

It wasn't a one-man job. Even if he had all eternity, he couldn't handle them all. Heathen multiplied like maggots on rotting meat. He'd done more than his share of work already.

No, he had to stop thinking those blasphemous thoughts. If Jashin-sama wanted him here, he'd stay here.

He glared at Kabuto, raising his scythe.

"You-"

But the ninja gave a jaunty wave and vanished. Hidan gritted his teeth and jumped on the boulder where Kabuto had sat. He kicked out at a small stone that lay on top of it, sending up shining drops of mountain spring as it crashed into the stream.

This wasn't the first time he'd thought like this. It was the thought of finishing his life's work that led to the idea of death. That moment when he'd finally finish his work in this place and literally got to 'meet his maker', like he'd sent so many others to. They all got to see him, when would it be his turn?

That was the reason for his death wish.

That fucking curse-induced phantom had got it wrong.

He didn't miss people that much.

He envied them.

Turning his back on the Akatsuki base again, he sprinted away.

.. .. ..

I swear, I'm not making him emo. XD It will all make sense…I hope. -.-;

If there was any grammar mistakes, please say so. I only skimmed over the proof-reading. -.-;

A small note: There were doodles of Akatsuki all over the top of the second page of this…I had Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara and Tobi playing Mario Party multiplayer on DS lites, and a mini version of my pic 'Baaaaagels…'. So this is what I do when I'm stuck... :P

Until next time! :D


	10. Chapter 10

Hello! I really shouldn't be typing this up now, I'm supposed to be studying… But I know how annoying it can be if a fic suddenly stops being updated, so…

I hope that didn't sound too vain. XD

Enjoy, and thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Here is the stuff I promised, it's… over there. . . . runs away

Ch. 10

It was midnight, and on the outskirts of the land of Rice Fields, smoke was rising from a small village, blocking out the half-moon. Drawn by natural curiosity and his duty as a spy, the Kusa missing-nin drew close, looking for some cause of the disaster.

A face, framed by tall leafy structures gradually appeared on a nearby tree. Zetsu's piercing yellow eyes searched for any sign of life. The village was little more than ash at this stage, and it had not been much to start with. Zetsu made out the foundations of about ten buildings; whether they had been houses or shops was anyone's guess.

The rest of Zetsu's body detached itself from the tree, and started walking around the live embers. His white side spoke up.

"There's nothing left…"

"Then there's nothing useful to us. Let's go," replied his black side curtly.

But the white side wasn't satisfied. Zetsu looked up from the burning foundations to the village square.

"There's something there."

"A person?" said the black, squinting.

Zetsu shook his head.

"I don't know."

He walked to it, careful not to catch fire as the flames spread along the ground.

It was a man, dead, several stab wounds dotting his corpse. Zetsu bent down to inspect it fully.

"Still fresh? We should dispose of it."

But the white side had spotted something else.

"We'll do that later; what's that on the ground?"

"Hn?"

There, a small distance from the corpse, was a familiar symbol of bloody graffiti. Zetsu moved closer. It was the symbol of Jashin.

"Hidan?" the white side inquired.

"Do we know of any others?" answered the black.

"But Kakuzu is with him…it would take him at least two days to get this far. We would have heard."

"We should report it anyway."

Zetsu stepped away from the body, but didn't take his eyes off it.

"If it was him, the evidence should be destroyed…"

But just as Zetsu leaned over the corpse again, a noise in his head made him pause. Someone was calling his name.

'Zetsu!'

Both sides of him answered in unison.

"Pein?"

'Forget your scouting mission – Hidan had escaped from the base. Your orders are to find his trail and keep track of him-'

Zetsu's black side interrupted.

"We know."

Pine gave a quickly stifled noise of surprise.

'How?'

"We found victims."

There was a pause.

'Where are you?'

"Rice Field Country."

Zetsu heard Pein give an angry sigh.

'He's heading east. The fool's going to him!'

Zetsu's white side piped up.

"This corpse and his symbol are fresh. He is close."

'Follow him. I'll send others to help you. Go!'

Zetsu grunted an affirmative.

'And Zetsu – slow him, if you can.'

With that, the voice faded and left.

Zetsu stood up again. He threw a side-glance at the corpse. Picking it up, he threw it, with a hint of reluctance, into the nearest patch of flames. Then, the earth swallowed him again.

…

Back at Akatsuki's base, Kakuzu was pacing by the entrance. How could he have grown so complacent as to let Hidan escape? He was an idiot; he should have looked in all the rooms on Hidan's side after Hidan stormed off, not just have looked in the backroom before going back to his half. Maybe he would have heard something, if nothing else.

He had only grown suspicious when he hadn't seen Hidan for another two days after that.

And then he had discovered Hidan's escape route – in the very room he had looked in! Could Hidan have been gone by then? If he had been hiding, Kakuzu mused; he's gotten smarter for not falling for the bluff.

But then Kakuzu remembered where he'd gone.

"That fucking moron! Does he not understand the word 'trap' or is he purposely ignoring it?"

He kicked at a pebble by his foot in anger.

"Raring to go, I see."

Kakuzu spun around.

"Sasori."

Hiruko stared back at him, expressionless as always. Kakuzu turned to face him properly.

"You're my travelling companion, then?"

Hiruko nodded.

"Call it temporary partner, if you will."

"You have a death wish? You know what happens to my partners."

Sasori brushed the threat off.

"The ones that don't run off? I'll survive."

"What about Deidara?"

Sasori's voice was laced with amusement.

"He's Bijuu-sitting."

Sasori paused for a moment.

"Pein was thinking of sending you by yourself, but you'll need my help to get to Orochimaru. Zetsu left a trail for us to follow, two days journey from here on foot."

Kakuzu nodded, still looking critically at his 'temp'.

"Two days… We better get going before that idiot gets further ahead. The trail starts in Rice Field Country, right?"

Hiruko grunted.

"Travelling on foot until then would be optional…"

The two older Akatsuki leaped down the hill and vanished into the night.

…

Far away, the distance between Hidan and his fellow members was growing by the second. Lead by the light of the half moon, he pelted along the very trail he and Kakuzu took all those months ago – the road to Otogakure. It had looked like a meek enough village to him back then. Once he got there he'd destroy it.

He'd find Orochimaru and kill him, tear him apart, make him suffer and vainly apologise for everything he'd put Hidan through.

And maybe, if he remembered, in time, Hidan would tell him to remove the curse mark.

He was sure Jashin-sama would smile down on him and bless his next battle with victory; he had atoned for his sins by sacrificing all the people in three villages he came by on his way to Otogakure. If that wasn't repentance, he didn't know what was.

The bad thing about his slaughtering was the amount of time it cost him; he reckoned he must have lost half a day between the killings and the rituals.

Akatsuki must have realised he had escaped by now, and they would be on his trail in an instant. Strangely though, he had neither seen nor heard anything of them yet. Maybe he was overestimating them, the retards.

Spurred on by this thought, Hidan grinned and leaped into the canopy of a nearby forest. He jumped from branch to branch, covering more ground then he had by running.

He was nearing the end of the forest when the branch he was about to land on suddenly became occupied.

Hidan was already in mid-air, feet outstretched and ready to land when he saw it.

"Whoa! What the-?"

Too late to change direction, he landed heavily on the branch, crushing one of Zetsu's plant structures, causing a needle of pain to shoot down the spy's right shoulder, and his face contorted in annoyance.

"Ow."

Hidan hastily stepped off, backing up the branch a bit. He pointed an accusing finger at the Kusa missing-nin.

"What the hell are you doing here? You following me?"

Zetsu blinked slowly, and his frown deepened.

"Obviously."

"Then why the fuck did you go _in front_ of me? Seriously, I coulda broken my neck if I'd tried to avoid you."

Zetsu's frown deepened further, and his white side spoke.

"We were told to stop you."

"We didn't expect to get stepped on," added the black.

Hidan sniggered.

"You fucking got in my way, it's your own fault, seriously."

He looked up at the sky. A red haze hung over the eastern horizon.

"Shit, that's more time lost. I'll be going now."

He took a flying leap to the next branch. At the last second, he felt something tug at his cloak, and it came away. He landed and whirled around to face Zetsu again. The spy held Hidan's Akatsuki cloak in an unseen hand.

"Hey, asshole, I kind of need that. Do you know how fucking cold it gets around here at night?"

Zetsu's face was unreadable.

"We were ordered to stop you."

Hidan laughed in disbelief.

"So you steal my clothes? Shit, you really are insane."

Zetsu chose to ignore Hidan's reaction.

"Why are you going to Orochimaru?"

In a flash, Hidan dived at Zetsu and yanked his cloak from the spy's grasp.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Here-"

He bent down to the Grass nin's eye level.

"-I have a message for everyone. It's none of your business why I'm going, so _fuck off_."

Then he was gone, jumping though the trees again.

Why the hell are they all so concerned anyway? Hidan thought as he bounded away. He wasn't joining Orochimaru, seriously. Maybe he'd ask him how he expected him to kill him, if he remembered in time of course. It was probably something stupid.

What was the whole 'body' thing about then? Orochimaru said he could kill Hidan, but what was the point if he wanted Hidan's body? You couldn't do much with a corpse, unless you were that plant freak.

And all that tensei ninjutsu crap. He was probably bullshitting the whole thing, bastard.

From that thought, a plan began to form in Hidan's mind. It might be fun to fight bullshit with more bullshit…

He sped up, and soon he was out of Zetsu's sight.

The Kusa missing-nin looked down at the shred of Hidan's cloak he had managed to keep. He put it down gently on the branch and secured it. Another addition to Hidan's trail. He hoped Sasori and Kakuzu would catch up soon. Tracking another Akatsuki member was so unrewarding, both sides thought idly, as he drew into the tree again.

…

"You're late…how unlike you."

"Forgive me, Orochimaru-sama. Teleporting uses up a lot of my chakra."

Orochimaru continued to stare expectantly at his subordinate, waiting with growing impatience for Kabuto to catch his breath.

Orochimaru was out of his room today, feeling energetic enough to at least greet Kabuto at his entrance to the underground lair. He had even made it to the training grounds, and had spent the previous day instructing the Sound Five in their training.

However, his mind had only half concentrated on these menial tasks. Now that Kabuto was back, he could finally ask the question that had been bothering him all this time.

"Where is he?"

Kabuto, still panting, gave a wry smirk.

"He's coming."

.. .. ..

-blank space- O.o


	11. Chapter 11

Ok, before anyone loses interest in what I have to say here, I want to dedicate this chapter to Kyra213, who has posted the most reviews to my story so far! Thank you! That isn't to say I don't appreciated everyone's reviews, they are my motivation juice.

And… Holy crap. You would not believe how excited I was on Friday night. The fight begins!!

This one's kind of short… Well, the next chapter's better anyhoo.

Enjoy!

Ch.11

It was morning, and the first rays of sunlight hit Kakuzu and Sasori full on as they raced after Hidan. Zetsu had left more than enough clues for them to follow, placed in strategic areas so as to make the most of the time used. Every minute Hidan got closer to Otogakure, and every second counted as they did their best to intercept him. They were travelling by foot from Rice Country onwards, as Hidan had, so as not to miss any of his trail.

The two of them had gone most of the journey in silence. This was a new experience for both members, as their usual partners normally kept up an almost constant stream of idle chatter.

The golden silence was broken only when either partner wanted to stop or pass a comment on Zetsu's choice of trail marker. These ranged from simple arrows etched onto trees or into the dirt, crudely shaped sticks, disembodied limbs to the odd scrap of black cloth.

Something was nagging at Sasori this morning however, and after a couple of hours' steady travelling, he felt compelled to voice it.

"Kakuzu-"

The Taki missing-nin turned his head.

"-Why didn't Hidan use teleportation to get to Otogakure? Travelling on foot…it's almost as if he wanted us to follow him. A back up plan?"

Kakuzu shook his head promptly.

"You give him too much credit. He doesn't teleport unless he has to, and the idiot probably thinks it's better to dramatically go 'chasing after his prey' than saving time. As for using us…he's not that intelligent."

"I see…and of course if _we_ teleport, we miss any detours he might have taken."

Kakuzu scowled.

"Yes... He makes this more difficult for us, albeit unintentionally."

"Stupid bastard."

"Exactly."

Without warning, Hiruko's head snapped back towards the horizon.

"There's something up ahead."

The two shinobi sped up, and reached the outskirts of the burned village, now nothing more than cold ash. Kakuzu took a quick look round, while Sasori waited for Pein to contact them. Among the ruins, Kakuzu found a couple of charred, limb-less skeletons.

"That explains the limbs..."

A small distance away, the ground had been recently disturbed. Upon closer inspection, he could just make out the faint, bloody outline of Jashin's symbol. Zetsu had cleared away most of it, but Kakuzu's keen eyes had spotted their next clue.

He looked back at Sasori's distant figure. Hiruko stared stonily back. Glancing back at the mark, Kakuzu distinguished an arrow drawn in the smoothed soil, in the centre of Hidan's ritual territory. It pointed north-east. It was fresh, not more than five hours old, and Kakuzu mentally praised their swift pace. They were at the curve of the continent already. It shouldn't be more than half a day's journey to Otogakure.

He turned to Sasori again, just in time to see the Suna missing-nin give a start. He started talking briskly, though the air around him was devoid of life. It was Pein. Kakuzu ran over.

…

There it was. He recognised every rock, as if he'd been living here his whole life, not only visited once. Hidan felt his mouth twitch in excitement, and his heart rate increase. Sweet, satisfying slaughter was only across the rocky landscape. He sped up; forcing his fatigued legs onwards, his delirious agitation lending him strength.

That schizo spy must not have raised the alarm yet, idiot.

He cast a wary eye over his shoulder. He didn't trust Zetsu as far as he could throw him. He could be watching him right now, with that annoying expressionless face of his.

Hidan shook his head. He was creeping himself out now. So what if Akatsuki were following him?

There was no way they could catch up to him now. He was on the home stretch, the final lap, the climax…you get the idea.

He bounded over the rocks with ease, scythe swinging in time with his footsteps. He was approaching the edge of the village, and he slowed. While it was still his full intent to take the village off the map, Orochimaru came first. He'd admit he was reckless, but he wasn't an idiot.

And at that precise moment, two things happened.

Hidan suddenly realised something vitally important: he didn't know where Orochimaru's base was.

And-

A familiar but unwelcome voice called to him.

'Hidan!'

Hidan gaped as he recognised the speaker, and also, where the voice came from.

"Pein? Shit, you took your sweet time. Where's all your concern for your 'asset' gone? I'm hurt, seriously."

But Pein wasn't about to play along.

'I know where you are, and I swear if you take another step towards that person, I'll personally see you die along with him."

Hidan gave the air an obscene gesture.

"Like you could pull it off, O mighty Kami-sama. You sound like that money obsessed asshole."

'Listen to me Hidan-'

Pein's voice grew dangerously quiet.

'-You may think you've outsmarted me, but I'm the head of this organisation, and I didn't get there by kissing up to you fools and bending to your every whim.'

Hidan fidgeted with his rosary, eyes trained on the village ahead.

"Yeah yeah, get to the point asswipe."

Pein chose to ignore this.

'In a few hours, two of your fellows will catch up to you, because you will be in the exact same spot as you are now.'

Hidan tched.

'Like hell I will. I'll be done here by the time they're halfway."

'Not likely.'

A vein throbbed in Hidan's temple.

"Hey! Listen motherfucker, you're miles away from me. I'm making the decisions here, and there's no way I'm going to wait here and be brought back to that fucking cave!"

'This isn't your choice, Hidan. It's my obligation.'

Suddenly, Hidan felt a pulse of chakra.

"What?!"

Was Pein channelling chakra through his telepathy?

Hidan gasped – then his gasp turned sour and he clutched at his shoulder, groaning. The curse mark was activating again.

"What the hell are you doing?!" shouted Hidan, but Pein's evidently furious tone freed him from blame.

'Damn it! Control that curse mark!'

Pein was then silenced, and for a few moments, Hidan was only aware of the curse marks slowly battling their way across his body, and those strange waves of chakra trying to force them back. The experience of the unknown chakra and the burning marks competing for possession left Hidan weak and breathless.

"What…the fuck?"

He wanted it to end, for the two forces to leave him in peace, but he knew whichever won, he lost.

He ground his teeth; the weird chakra was winning, the marks were crawling back the way they came.

Pein's voice echoed round his head again.

'You evaded Zetsu, I'll give you credit for that. But your little adventure ends here.'

Hidan felt it again, that unfamiliar chakra. It snaked round his body and froze it, numbing his mind.

As he toppled backwards, he summoned his last bit of strength to say,

"Fucking…son of a …bitch..."

A second later, he was out cold.

…

Kakuzu waited impatiently for Sasori to finish up his conversation. He didn't have to wait long; true to form, Sasori wrapped it up quickly. After two minutes, Hiruko grew silent, and faced Kakuzu.

"Pein got him," he said bluntly.

Kakuzu arched his eyebrows.

"Pein? So what was the point in sending us out?"

Had Pein sent them on a wild goose chase? On purpose? Kakuzu infamous rage stirred in him, adding a wild look to his eyes. Sasori noticed this, but remained calm.

"To collect him."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed. Hiruko's dead ones never left his.

"Pein disabled him through his telepathy. We were taking too long, apparently."

Kakuzu made a small noise of disgust. Sasori continued.

"Hidan is lying unconscious somewhere outside Otogakure."

Kakuzu stifled his anger, turning it into calm determination. He was going to beat that idiotic immortal senseless when he reached him, unconscious or not. Hidan had put him through hell during the past two months. Kakuzu would pay it back in five minutes.

"What are we waiting for?"

Surprised at the energy in Kakuzu's voice, Sasori hesitated. Kakuzu paid him no heed.

"Let's go."

And they were gone, two blurred figures, travelling faster than ever on their last lap.

.. .. ..

Zomgclichenessandablankspacecosiforgotwhatiwasgoingtosay. 0-o

Oh right…I'm promise, this is the last time Hidan falls unconscious. I'm sorry, it just seems like the only way to get him to behave for a while. ;) I ran out of creative juice! 0o0


	12. Chapter 12

Wow, a month since I last updated

Wow, a month since I last updated. 0 0 I shouldn't be typing this up now either – I've got 6 tests next week! Thank God for mid-term break. XD Thank you to everyone who's still reading, please continue to follow this till the end or I'll get even lazier. Probably. :P

Enjoy the 12th chapter of Tensei! ('Cos the next ones going to be weird…)

Ch. 12

Kakuzu was getting as wound up as Hidan had been as they drew closer to Otogakure. Sasori was hard pressed to keep up. The Sound village sat snugly between the mountains on the horizon, situated in a rocky amphitheatre. The two shinobi leapt over the jagged boulders; ears and eyes open for any sign of life. Hidan would be around here somewhere.

Kakuzu wanted nothing more than to get this whole mess over with. Hidan had caused Akatsuki a mountain of trouble this time, and he hoped he'd be the one to punish him. Lost in his murderous thoughts, it took him a while to realise Sasori was calling him.

"Kakuzu-"

He slowed to let Sasori catch up.

"Pein said he was near here."

"Right."

They agreed it would be quicker to search separately. They'd stay within the rocky area, the area Pein mentioned, and as soon as Hidan was found they would retreat. This was a stealth mission, their goal was to retrieve the lost member and avoid conflict. Orochimaru would be dealt with in time.

The pair immediately split up to comb the megalithic landscape. As they sprang apart, Sasori called over his shoulder to the masked nin.

"Search quietly; we're near _his_ base."

Kakuzu nodded curtly and leapt away. This misadventure would end soon, and as soon as his troublesome partner was found, he'd beat some sense into his thick skull.

…

"Ow…"

Hidan's hoarse, groggy voice gently reverberated off unseen walls and came back to him. He didn't open his eyes, he could tell just by lying there; he was in a cave. The cave.

He grimaced. They must have carried him back, those two Pein sent. How humiliating…

Fucking Pein… He had no idea the Leader was that powerful. He couldn't believe he'd been taken out so easily. Next time he laid eyes on Pein, he was seriously kicking his ass.

Right now, he was content to lie here and contemplate the unfairness of it all. At least, until his head stopped swimming.

He opened one eye lazily and made out the pattern on the nearest wall. Stupid crappy base, who designed this place anyway…?

He paused, and opened his other eye. The Akatsuki base didn't have patterns carved on the walls, he was sure of it. And even if they did, it would be those weird clouds, not those overlapping circles or whatever they were supposed to be.

He blinked a couple of times; maybe it was just a hallucination, a weird chakra-induced dream…

The patterns remained. Hidan frowned. Someone must have put them there to fuck with him. Yeah, that was it. This was all some stupid retarded punishment or something. It was probably Zetsu's idea.

His meagre attempts to rationalise the situation weren't working. Now that his eyes had regained the ability to focus, they were roving his surroundings. It was too dark to see much but he thought he could see some sort of wall scroll away to his left.

The base didn't have them, either.

With a little effort, he turned to look at it properly, and realised he was lying on something soft again. Kakuzu's planned budget made sure there were no decent beds in the base.

…Where the fuck was he?!

On a sudden impulse, he rolled over and threw a hand out to where he scythe should be. His pikes were gone too. After batting his hand around empty space, mattress and floor for a while, he cursed angrily.

"Shit! Where did they put it?"

Speaking of them, who the fuck were _they_?!

He sat up, cloak hanging off, in time to hear the door creak as pressure was applied to the handle. He clenched his teeth, and leaned forward, trying to discern the doorframe. A thin line of dim light appeared in front of him. He stared, using his most pissed off face as the bar grew wider and brighter.

Silhouettes appeared in the doorway, and Hidan tensed. He heard the hiss of a match being lit, and the small flame broke some of the blackness surrounding the holder's face. The match's flame connected with the wick of a candle. The light grew, dispelling the darkness and the shadows retreated behind the sparse furniture. It illuminated Hidan's and his visitor's faces.

Hidan glared, shaking slightly with suppressed anger, and wished fervently for his scythe.

Orochimaru grinned, taking in every detail of his new host.

"Welcome home, Hidan-kun."

…

The next half an hour of searching was fruitless.

Kakuzu called out his partner's name occasionally, listening vainly for a reply. Hidan was unconscious, Pein had told them that, but looking wasn't getting them anywhere.

Kakuzu cursed as he realised he had wandered from the specified area. As he walked back, dragging his feet, he tossed his head irritably from side to side, searching for black clothes, grey hair, red scythe – anything that would betray his partner's location. He reached Sasori's and his designated meeting spot and passed it, entering Sasori's half. It didn't take him long to locate the puppet master in the distance. He was walking briskly towards him when Sasori called out.

Kakuzu's hearts started racing, and he ran to Sasori's side.

"You found him?"

But Hiruko's head shook. Kakuzu frowned.

"What then?"

"Do you recognise that?"

Hiruko looked down at the ground. Kakuzu's eyes followed the puppet's cold stare.

"That's Hidan's-"

A single black pike lay wedged between two half buried megaliths. Kakuzu pried it out and held it at arm's length.

"This is bad."

Sasori's tone was troubled. Kakuzu raised and eyebrow.

"He probably woke up and kept going. It's a minor setback, but we should-"

"No."

Kakuzu's frown deepened. Sasori edged towards the larger of the boulders before them.

"Hidden under this is an entrance to Orochimaru's base. Hidan must have-"

Kakuzu shook his head furiously.

"No! He wouldn't have – he doesn't even know where-"

He couldn't have. After they had trailed him for this long, he couldn't have gone to Orochimaru. Kakuzu wouldn't accept it.

"Kakuzu, the evidence says otherwise."

Kakuzu glared at Sasori.

"Not quite. Hidan was unconscious, according to Pein. They must have found him before us. There's no way he'd give himself in. He's not like that."

Hiruko looked unconvinced. Or he might have, it was hard to tell with that damned puppet face.

Sasori watched Kakuzu intently. He'd never seen Kakuzu this worked up before. He had every reason to be; if Orochimaru became immortal, he'd become a much bigger problem. But why was he so positive that Hidan hadn't betrayed them all? He had never failed to make his partner out to be a liability before.

"That's possible. The only way to know for sure would be to infiltrate."

Kakuzu strode towards the rock.

"There's no time for that."

Before Sasori could reply, he slammed his fist into the rock and shattered it.

…

A tsunami of anger cascaded through Hidan, making his anger almost tangible in the air. He forgot his contempt for Pein, Kakuzu, anyone else who mattered, and concentrated it on the loathed being in front of him. This man was to blame for everything. It was _his_ man who had poisoned him, _his_ stupid talk about Hidan's death wish that brought him here, _he_ who put that troublesome mark on his neck, _his_ fault Hidan had been locked in that cave and now he thought he had the right to welcome him into his lair and not beg for mercy.

Hidan would have dived at him, if he'd only had a weapon. But right now, hand to hand combat didn't seem too bad a choice.

He was on his feet in a second, breathing hard, and eyes shooting daggers at the snake-nin. His nails were beginning to cut into his palms. Orochimaru continued to gaze evenly back, that triumphant smirk still playing around his lips.

"You must be quivering with anticipation."

Anticipation my ass, Hidan was about to retort – but some tiny part of his mind, not overcome with the desire to hurt something, namely Orochimaru, was telling him to calm down, and doing its best to be heard over the rest of Hidan's crazed consciousness.

And in that moment of silence between the two shinobi, when only the dripping wax and Hidan's breathing could be heard, it got through.

Hidan ad made a plan for this situation. It wasn't to go completely apeshit and risk getting incapacitated by Orochimaru's hundreds of minions. Hidan's eyes flicked towards the open door. Orochimaru may have been the only other person in the room, but he wasn't alone. Realising he wasn't going to get his chance for vengeance just yet, Hidan's anger ebbed, replaced by his usual air of nonchalance.

Time to initiate plan B, said the little part of his mind. Proceed with caution and you get what you came for. It reminded him vaguely of Kakuzu.

Orochimaru was watching every movement he made, eyes never straying far from Hidan's face.

"You're not usually this quiet, Hidan-kun. What's the matter?"

Hidan tched and placed his hands on his hips.

"Well if you'd woken up in a shithole like this one day, you wouldn't feel fucking singing your praises either."

Orochimaru feigned confusion.

"But isn't this where you want to be? We did find you right outside the entrance."

Hidan wasn't ready for that. His eyes widened. The rock he'd been leaning on outside? _That_ hid the entrance? He quickly shook the revelation off.

"Yeah, that explains fuck all, anyway-"

He started walking towards the door.

"I've been idle the past day or so, so if you don't mind I've got to satisfy a certain all powerful someone-"

As he strolled past his visitor, a hand shot out, blocking his way. He started at it with mild annoyance.

"You seriously don't trust me at all do you?"

Orochimaru slowly brought his eyes around to focus on Hidan again.

"I'm afraid you'll have to earn that privilege."

"The privilege to leave the room?" Hidan drawled sarcastically. The silhouettes in the corridor were slightly more definite from this point of view.

"And without the fucking black parade?"

Orochimaru chuckled.

"It might not take as long as you think."

If you think that, you're more retarded than you look. The mini Kakuzu in his head hurriedly whispered 'Play along, damn it!

"What, you want me to 'prove' I'm not just here to kill you right now?"

Orochimaru gave a patient shake of his head, as if he was explaining it to a young child.

"No, nothing as extravagant as that."

He paused. Hidan could have sworn it was just for effect. Drama queen.

"Just tell me the reason you came. Since you came so far, you must have an answer to my offer."

Hidan smirked.

"Oh, that thing."

Hidan left his next line to the mini Kakuzu part of his mind, it seemed to know what it was doing.

"I came to try out your theory, Professor."

.. .. ..

Argh, I hate the next chapter, it's so hard to write! . …I hope this one came out ok, too. The start of Hidan's pov was fun I want to write more bits like that… Kudos to reviewers.


	13. Chapter 13

Hi hi, I'm updating for once. :D But before I start, a brief (or not so brief, I try to keep these short, but I like to ramble) author's note: Eirtakon 08 was brilliant! I doubt anyone who went is reading this, if anyone did, cool. :D I cosplayed as Deidara! Woo for crossdressing! -_-; A Sasori and I chased a Gaara around the gardens outside…I think he was ok afterwards…

My friend Sarah went as Lee, and she has officially persuaded me to go as Hidan next year. O///_///o (I was too scared to this year -_-;) She's going as Tobi, lol! XD

Happy Christmas, see you in the new year!

Ok, all done, go read. ;D

Ch. 12

Orochimaru chuckled, a deep sound that made Hidan wonder briefly whether he'd been right to trust the little money-man in his head.

"You made the right choice Hidan-kun."

Hidan twitched involuntarily. Orochimaru didn't seem to notice. He glanced over his shoulder at the silhouettes lining the corridor. He flashed Hidan a mysterious smile, and let his arm drop. The path to the door was now clear. But Hidan didn't move.

"So…" he began casually, acutely aware of Orochimaru watching him through half-lidded eyes.

"Where the hell'd you put my weapons?"

Orochimaru laughed again. The hairs on the back of Hidan's neck stood on end. Fucker! It was reasonable damn question! I feel naked here! Hidan wanted to yell out, but the mini Kakuzu still had a firm hold on the controls. Be patient – it nagged, play along for now.

I don't wanna fucking play along! I hate stealth missions, seriously! However, he knew arguing with his new conscience wasn't going to help, and he promptly shut up.

Some of his internal battle must have shown on his face; Orochimaru was staring at him with mild concern.

"I'm afraid you'll have to do without them for the moment. Surely you can _survive_ for a couple of hours…?"

Orochimaru's eyes locked onto Hidan's amethyst ones once more, twinkling with dark humour. Fucking hilarious.

"…There's something we need to take care of first."`

Hidan's eyebrows shifted, and he sighed in exasperation.

"What else do I have to do? Seriously this better have a point or else I'm out of here."

Hidan could have sworn he'd heard Orochimaru give another low chuckle.

"Of course."

Orochimaru inclined his head a little, so that his gaze lay on Hidan's exposed shoulder.

"It concerns the curse mark."

Hidan unconsciously leaned a little ways from Orochimaru, expression guarded.

"What do you mean? I'm going to have to go through _more_ of this shit?"

Orochimaru smirked ruefully.

"I know it can be …unpleasant-"

Hidan wanted to punch him badly.

"-but it's a small price for the power it bestows on its host. When it activates…you've felt it, haven't you?"

Orochimaru's vertical slits were still fixed on Hidan, pinning him down. The immortal avoided his gaze, staring out to the dark corridor.

"-That delicious power."

Though he was trying his best to disregard everything Orochimaru said, Hidan couldn't help but secretly agree. He thought back to the time he first (unwittingly) evoked the curse mark. The euphoria, the boundless energy, the bloodlust – he'd felt as if he could do anything, take on anyone in that moment… before the curse mark was partly sealed by Kakuzu's Fuuja Houen.

"_I didn't ask for you to butt in, asshole. I was handling it fine by myself."_

_Kakuzu snorted._

"_Going to massacre a village and give the game away to any bingo book holders in the area, not to mention letting that curse take you over is handling it really well."_

With a small jolt, Hidan realised that Orochimaru was looking for a response. You can shove your curse mark up your hole, snake turd.

"What's that got to do with whatever you want?"

Orochimaru smiled, finally lifting his gaze, releasing Hidan.

"Let's just say it'll speed up the process."

Orochimaru's slits flicked from the corridor back to Hidan.

"That is, if you still want to die."

"If you can pull it off," retorted Hidan.

Another damn smirk.

"I welcome the challenge. Now-"

He snapped his fingers, and the five came out of the shadows.

"Let's bring you to stage two, shall we?"

Hidan looked unimpressed.

"What the hell is stage two?"

"The fully awakened form of the curse mark."

Orochimaru leaned in further, his voice low.

"This will give you 10 times the power of the first stage. So please co-operate with my subordinates."

Orochimaru backed out, leaving the Sound Five to do their job. Catching the suspicious look on Hidan's face, he smiled broadly.

"Don't worry, Hidan-kun. It'll be over soon."

Hidan took his eyes off the nearest shinobi, a girl, dressed in the same style as her companions, with the addition of a hat to tame her bushy pink hair. He threw Orochimaru a death glare.

"Drop the fucking '-kun' already."

The sannin waved his remark off as the door shut behind him.

…

As he silently closed Hidan's door behind him, Orochimaru let out the cackle of triumph he had been holding in. Leaning against the large wooden door, he listened gleefully to the sounds within. He had Hidan exactly where he wanted him; his new body was almost guaranteed.

He was practically quivering with anticipation. Once stage two had kicked in, Hidan would be under his control…

Orochimaru frowned. That was how it should go, but that seal could present a problem. Although he knew it relied on the strength of the person's will to actively fight off the curse, he wasn't as certain as he would like to be about that either. Hidan had come, Kabuto had successfully drawn him to the lair, and he was almost ready for the soul transfer, but something didn't sit right.

As he stood up and treaded softly down the corridor, he reconsidered his plans. He had wanted to train Hidan in his own jutsu a little first, test his loyalty under safe conditions. But with the seal, and Hidan's own guarded behaviour, he might have to forgo that. Although he almost regretted not having the immortal around for longer, he decided the soul transfer must be done before Hidan could change his mind.

He turned away, no longer desiring to retire to his own quarters. He had to act quickly.

…

The entrance to the lair was silent after the rubble settled. Sasori gaped deep inside Hiruko.

"Kakuzu-"

Kakuzu had never been this quick to act when they had been partners – briefly, when Akatsuki was founded. The Suna missing-nin had expected the older member to leave the infiltration to him and his hundreds of expendable puppets, instead of charging in himself. Kakuzu didn't wait for Sasori to finish.

"Hurry up. Before any enemies block us off."

Kakuzu darted in, a hard look in his eyes, while Sasori followed, still slightly perplexed.

The inside of the lair was dimly lit by the torches that lined the patterned walls. They flickered wildly as the wind and the black clad shinobi passed. Kakuzu cursed under his breath as he caught sight of shadows flitting across the corridor.

"Here they come-"

Kakuzu's outstretched hands rocketed down the corridor and slammed into the two enemy shinobi. Two quick jerks and they crashed into the walls, accompanied by sickening cracks. His pace didn't slacken as he hurtled past the bodies.

Behind him, the clattering and creaking of wooden joints told him Sasori had unleashed his army. His blind spot was covered, but he couldn't help noticing Sasori's fighting style was quieter than what he was used to. No tiresome speeches, no dilly-dallying of any sort, just cold, unemotional slaughter. And, he realised with a start, Sasori was practically finished. On his end, purple clad bodies were haphazardly strewn about. Kakuzu faced his way again; there were more overly loyal subordinates running straight into his waiting arms.

Taking out two at a time wasn't quick enough – he could imagine Sasori's eyes on him, waiting with growing impatience for him to finish. Kakuzu infamous rage began its quick ascent, and he shrugged his cloak off his shoulders. Two tangled masses of black thread burst from his exposed back and dived at the nearest batch of the sannin's recruits. Fire and wind combined to make deadly combinations, and the corridor was soon filled with the clamour of elemental jutsu. Kakuzu's tension eased. Both Akatsuki were now finished. All that was missing was the maniacal laughter.

The Akatsuki continued their journey through the lair – but they were soon stopped again. This time however, it was not due to enemy interception. Both Kakuzu and Sasori had continued to advance down the nearest path, but had gone separate ways. Kakuzu glanced back, feeling slightly annoyed.

"Sasori, most of them came through here, we should try this way."

Sasori didn't turn.

"Kakuzu. I know these underground tunnels better than you do. My way."

The puppet master resumed movement, clearly indicating for Kakuzu to follow. Kakuzu wrinkled his nose in indignation. He had never intended to be the junior of the pair for even a second of the mission. But he retraced his steps, giving the humped figure a characteristic glare, and followed, resigned.

…

The little black pill went down relatively easy, and Hidan couldn't help but feel a little disappointed about the process that bastard had seemed so excited about. The Sound Five surrounded him, looking expectant. Hidan arched an eyebrow.

"Oi, are you waiting for me to sprout wings or something?"

None of them replied, but he caught a trace of impatience flit across their faces.

"Jeez, I'd hate to see the size of the sticks shoved up your-"

Hidan's voice dissolved as his insides pulsed sickeningly. He doubled over feeling nauseous. The mark burned, it scorched his shoulder, skin and bone. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his blood raced through his veins. He could feel his body battling the effects of the curse desperately, and it leeched his strength. His knees hit the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the shinobi crouch down, making handsigns furiously.

"Finally."

The voice came from somewhere around him; the others must still be there too.

"Fuckers-" he managed to spit out.

What the hell is going on? He tried to shout, but try as he did. The words couldn't seem to make it past his throat, which felt like it was being crushed.

Suddenly, he was cut off from the light. Forcing his eyes open again, he discerned a wall of tightly bound wood that stood inches from his face. Biting on his lip, he took his mind off the painful tingling that covered his skin to look around. The wall continued endless around him. He was in a wooden cylinder. He couldn't remember being put in.

Dimly, he heard the sounds of paper slapping down on the lid, and felt a sudden tightness in the air. They sealed it – I'm stuck in here!

Angrily, he threw a hand up to the lid and started to push – but another strange wave of pain knocked him back again.

He tensed, fighting back against the curse as it wove itself over his skin, under his skin, into his blood. He was losing. The deeper the marks burned themselves in, the harder he fought. They were slowing, but he couldn't stop it. Hidan was reaching his limit. He felt like he'd been battling the curse for hours, but time didn't seem to pass in the container.

Suddenly, his strength disappeared. His eyes widened as his muscles went limp. He fell against the side of barrel, and tried in vain to move. The curse had immobilised him. Shit couldn't handle me fighting back, he thought, giving a small smirk. The pain was waning; it was now just a throbbing ache, and he could think straight again. He blinked the sweat out of his eyes. The container wasn't as black as he thought, more of grey than pitch; though he couldn't see where the light was coming from.

A ripping noise startled him and he threw his eyes upwards. The lid burst off, and the once elusive light spilled in.

.. .. ..

I'm hoping to get this done over the xmas break, otherwise you'll have to wait until midterm. O-o

And to anyone who follows the anime…TT-TT I think I became clinically depressed for about 20 minutes after Hidan and Kakuzu got their arses kicked.

'Til next time! C:


	14. Chapter 14

Hello! For anyone who thought the last two chapters were…disappointing…to phrase it lightly (I thought so anyway) here's an extra long chapter! It might get a tad confusing POV-wise, it switches round a lot, but I felt putting my usual '…' between each one broke up the action too much. I apologise for my woeful dialogue. D8

I didn't want to make Hidan look like a troll doll though. :( (google it) That really was a last minute decision. :P

Ch. 14

Black cloaks flitted soundlessly past the doors, darting without hesitation around corners, following some internal map. The labyrinthine tunnel continued as far as the eye could see, but not once did Sasori or Kakuzu falter. Two pairs of eyes roved the walls, the shadows, the branches of the tunnels, the doors, for any sign of activity. Their entrance certainly hadn't been a quiet one, and they had had to fend off more than one ambush as they hurtled down the corridors.

With a frown, Kakuzu noticed Sasori was slowing. Strange, he couldn't sense any ominous or familiar chakra. He kept his pace up until he was beside the puppet master.

"Is Orochimaru near?"

Sasori stopped, disgruntled.

"I don't know. I don't sense him. His quarters are nearby, and he's running low on life force. He should be-"

Kakuzu straightened up.

"You're lost."

Hiruko's eyes narrowed.

"That's not-"

He froze, as did Kakuzu. Someone else was approaching. They dove into the shadows on either side of the tunnel and readied themselves. Kakuzu grunted.

"Perhaps this time we'll ask for directions."

Inside Hiruko, Sasori scowled.

It wasn't long until their experienced ears caught the sound of shinobi moving swiftly along the corridor. Out of the corner of his eye, Kakuzu saw Sasori move slightly. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'll take this one."

There was no arguing with that tone. Kakuzu wasn't going to let Sasori take charge again. The barely audible padding of feet was getting closer. Kakuzu's stitches stealthily released his arms.

A foot came into view – and Kakuzu struck. Lashing out from shadows, his hands curled round two necks, and with a s jerk, pinned the two bodies against the far wall. The oil lamps flickered and grew still. Kakuzu fixed his cold eyes on his catches.

They both struggled – they always did- weakening hands tearing vainly at his own. The bespectacled one forced an eye open.

"You're the Akatsuki who – ack - Toji, call for reinfor-"

Kakuzu's grip tightened.

"Raising the alarm will only shorten your life span."

The other one – masked - tried to make handsigns. His hands were forced apart, and Kakuzu looked over his shoulder. Sasori had stepped out of Hiruko and stood with his hands out, thin bluish lines of chakra connecting him to the two shinobi.

"That was close, Kakuzu. We don't have time for meaningless fights."

Kakuzu glared at the shinobi in front of him, forcing his anger back down, but feeling it simmer away just under his skin.

"Understood."

At least he could let loose during the interrogation.

"You-" he focused one the one with the glasses – "You recognised us. Then you know there's another Akatsuki here. Where is he?"

The shinobi, though he was gasping for breath, managed to smirk.

"Even if I did know where he was, he'd be of no use to you."

Kakuzu tightened his grip considerably. The shinobi let out a silent cry.

"I didn't ask how he was, I asked _where_ he was."

The masked shinobi turned slightly to look worriedly at his companion.

"Kabuto-sama-"

Sasori gave a start. He walked forward, and stood behind Kakuzu.

"Kabuto?" he intoned with mild interest. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

"Orochimaru's right hand man?"

Kabuto gritted his teeth, and Toji looked humiliated. Sasori smiled. It didn't reach his eyes.

"How fortunate."

He looked icily at the other, and raised his hands.

"You're no longer needed. Kakuzu, you're taking too long. I'll take it from here."

Kakuzu didn't release the two sound spies.

"I have it, Sasori."

Sasori gave Kakuzu the smallest of frowns.

"We don't have time for this. Our orders were to get Hidan and get out. This place is crawling with Sound ninja. We need to go."

"I know that!" hissed Kakuzu. This was getting them nowhere. Sasori irked him, and the fact that he was right irked him more. He never imagined being partnered with someone less annoying than Hidan would anger him so much. Already on edge, his simmering emotions reached boiling point.

He swung the unfortunate shinobi around violently, and sent him hurtling into the opposite wall with a sickening crack. He had only just missed Sasori. Releasing the corpse, he avoided Sasori's guarded eyes and turned back to Kabuto.

"Be grateful it wasn't your head against the stonework."

Both he and Sasori knew it wasn't just directed at Kabuto. Kakuzu's green eyes burned intensely and he loosened his grip just enough to let Kabuto speak.

"Where is he?"

Kabuto, though he was shaking slightly, retained his smile.

"Not far."

"Bastard…"

He didn't have time for this! Grimacing, Kakuzu admitted defeat.

"Sasori-"

The Suna missing-nin looked up. Kakuzu threw Kabuto bodily at his feet.

"Kill him. I'm going ahead."

Before Sasori could answer, he sprinted down the corridor, senses working hard to detect any sign of Orochimaru or Hidan. _Not far._ Kabuto had better not be lying.

Kabuto tried to get to his feet, but Sasori's chakra strings held him fast. He had a calculating look on his face.

"It would be a shame to waste such a loyal shinobi…"

…

As the light poured into the container, Hidan gave a start, regaining his mobility. Smoke rose from every inch of his skin. Once it had cleared, he saw not his usual paleness, but a much darker skin tone.

"What the fuck?"

His skin felt strangely tough; he'd preferred the weird marks. Tentatively, with a look of slight disgust, he waved his arm around. The hard skin didn't crack or shift. It looked permanent.

He was on his feet in a second, and out of the dreaded box in another. He tore his eyes off his altered skin long enough to take in his surroundings. He wasn't in his 'room' anymore – he had been brought to a large empty arena, judging by the bloodstains on the grey, cracked walls. Realising he was alone, he brought his gaze back on himself. His cloak was gone, and he wondered vaguely where they had put it.

Putting it to the back of his mind, he tried to summon his chakra, knowing how haywire the curse had made it before. He hadn't notice any change in his chakra level while he had been fighting the curse, but now that they had successfully merged, it had multiplied several times. He had nothing against an increase in chakra, not in the least, but it didn't feel like his own anymore.

The euphoria and the bloodlust were there again, but this time, they couldn't take over. It felt as if they were locked out, barred from entering his subconscious, merely because he didn't want them there. He marvelled at the strength of his willpower, and the impossibility of it. He could resist the effects of the 2nd state of the curse, yet he had caved under the 1st. It made no sense…then he remembered Kakuzu's Fuuja Houin.

He glanced ruefully at it. Who knew, it was actually good for something. As he glanced at it, he noticed something else about his cursed state.

There were faint black lines running down the hard skin, joining with each other to form outlines. He stared, and they created images on his other skin. It took him a couple of seconds to recognise them fully; they were warped outlines of his own white bone marks that appeared during his ritual. They had none of the clean cut, impeccable symmetry of the originals – their edges were jagged, the shapes sketchy.

"Fucking copycat."

He was answered by the low chuckle, and he looked up, grimacing.

…

Orochimaru walked into the arena from a large door at the far end. Uncharacteristically, he had taken everything Kabuto had placed in front of him today to keep his current level of strength up. However, he was certain his excitement could have produced the same result. He gleefully took in Hidan's new appearance. The curse mark was a great tool for marking his own; Hidan's was similar to the others'; same dark, hard skin, same untamed hair, same black facial markings – it amused Orochimaru highly that Hidan's should bear such a striking resemblance to his 'reaper's- and same unmistakable aura of power. To anyone else, he would have looked like the result of some monstrous experiment; yet Orochimaru saw a powerful new servant.

As he approached his new body, Orochimaru put his quivering hands behind his back and checked his composure. He noted Hidan's expression – that grimace only served to strengthen his suspicions of insubordination. The 2nd state should have beaten it out of him, but it was of little consequence. As Orochimaru had previously stated, he welcomed challenges. Smiling broadly, he stopped, keeping the now empty container between him and Hidan.

"So, how are you feeling, Hidan-kun?"

…

This guy had to be joking. Mini Kakuzu was gone, and so Hidan was free to explode.

"How do I fucking feel? How the hell am I supposed to feel?"

He pointed angrily at himself.

"This shit was never part of the deal, damnit! When did I agree to get turned into some fucking-"

He searched for the right word.

"-Seriously, what the _fuck_?"

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow in bemusement. The curse mark definitely hadn't hindered his quick temper.

Hidan reached up to run a hand through his hair in exasperation, but as soon as his fingers connected with his head he froze. He had failed to notice until now, one of the other effects the curse tended to have on the host's body.

Orochimaru could feel Hidan's fury before it struck.

"What the _hell_? What kind of a curse does-"

Hidan paused. While giving Orochimaru the foulest look he could manage, he had caught a glimpse of something over the sannin's shoulder. He glanced over again. There, lying forgotten by the door, was his three-bladed scythe.

"Does what, Hidan-kun?"

His eyes flicked back to Orochimaru, some of his rage evaporating with his discovery. The sannin had a look in his eye that disconcerted him, making him uneasy. He rounded on the snake-nin again. Time to screw the 'stealth' mission.

"What kind of curse fucks up people's hair, asswipe?"

He sprinted at Orochimaru, clearing the container in one leap, courtesy of the energy the curse supplied him with. The sannin showed no sign of fear; he only readied his stance, a small smirk still playing round his mouth.

It mirrored Hidan's expression. As he neared his enemy, his hands balled into fists. His eyes were locked onto the snake nin's pale features. He brought a fist up, poised for a killer upper cut. Orochimaru's hands twitched, ready to block.

The punch came – and never connected. Hyperactive chakra concentrated at his feet, Hidan feinted and somersaulted over the sannin's head. He landed clear of the surprised shinobi and deftly kicked off again, racing towards his scythe. The lack of a satisfactory response from Orochimaru didn't register, he was far too intent on reclaiming his weapon.

His hand lashed out and grabbed it, the familiar weight comforting in his rough hands. Securing the length of cord back through his belt, he let out a whoop of excitement. Spinning around to face the sannin again, he grinned in triumph. Finally, he had the chance to wipe that damn smile off once and for all. Watch this Jashin-sama. He raised his weapon high. This will be a mutilation to remember.

"Here comes your own personal judgement day, Orochimaru-teme!"

In one leap, he halved the distance between them. The cord of his scythe sang and the scythe hurtled towards the unreadable snake nin. Yellow eyes monitored it carefully, and at the last moment, Orochimaru dodged. The scythe buried itself in the dirt. A second later, Hidan landed and ripped it out again.

Orochimaru landed a short distance away.

"It seems you're finally getting serious, Hidan-kun. This is a change from last time."

The snake nin tilted his head back, and opened his mouth wide. A glint of metal escaped his mouth. The glint grew and became a hilt, glistening with saliva. Without taking his eyes off Hidan, Orochimaru reached in and fluidly pulled out a long thin sword. Eyes giving away nothing, he raised an arm and beckoned.

"Come."

Hidan willingly obliged, kicking off at high speed.

"No giant snakes this time? Too bad. But I suppose your earlier bullshit was more than enough to get me riled up!"

They met, and the sword and the scythe clashed, raising an almighty clang. They broke apart, jumping back. Before Orochimaru could gather himself, Hidan redoubled his attack. The scythe came from all angles; the sword blocked them all. Hidan swung at Orochimaru's unguarded spots, yet the sannin caught them all the same.

Orochimaru leapt back again, hands blurring in a flurry of signs. Serpents wove speedily out of his sleeves, and struck. None reached their mark; the red scythe passed through scale and flesh with ease. Laughter filled the arena. The serpents hadn't slowed him, and Orochimaru quickly brought Kusanagi up to block Hidan's direct attack.

Hidan's strength was brutal, increased tenfold by the curse mark. Orochimaru could not stop the strain from showing. His hands shook as he held Kusanagi, and his opponent grinned derisively. A kick came from nowhere, and Orochimaru was knocked back into the wall. Dust flew into the air. Hidan whooped and followed, scythe poised and ready. He descended on the fallen sannin and the scythe flew.

The snake nin's skin ruptured as the scythe rent a path through it- and it dissolved into snakes, writhing and tossing in fright. Hidan cursed – caught the whistling of metal through air.

He propelled himself above the dust cloud as it exploded, eyes scanning the scene below. He sensed movement and whirled around in mid air. His scythe followed his line of sight – and only just missed the airborne sannin.

Orochimaru let himself fall and landed, catlike, at the far end of the arena. Hidan followed suit, and for a moment, the only sound was the heavy breathing from both crouched shinobi.

Hidan scowled in annoyance; he had concluded that his exhaustion was due to the curse mark. It had forced his keirakukei into hyperactive mode, and every small movement drained more of his chakra. He cursed inaudibly. Why should he rely on this thing to fight him anyway? He wasn't going to lose here. But he didn't want to win with Orochimaru's help. Looking up at the sannin, who looked as worn out as he was, he flashed him a grin and forced the curse back.

His skin faded, and broke up into the usual marks of the 1st state, then retreated to his shoulder. Hidan let out a long sigh, and got to his feet. The real exhaustion hadn't struck just yet; he still had time to finish this.

Orochimaru felt the strain of intense fighting more and more as his current body continued its crawl towards death. Kabuto's medicine kept him upright, and he knew that without it he would probably be dead already. That thought fed his resolve to secure his new body. One more test ought to do it. Looking up, Orochimaru caught Hidan's wry grin. A shadow of a frown crossed his face when he saw the curse receding. If that was how Hidan wanted it…

His rest sufficient, he mimicked Hidan and stood.

"Such immediate improvement in a new recruit, it's extraordinary... But you and I both know you can't be killed through physical combat, so why waste my time?"

Orochimaru watched Hidan carefully for a reaction. The immortal stood, stoic. He chose his next words carefully, aiming for effect. If Hidan was breaking their deal, there was still a chance he could be coaxed back.

"You came here for one thing, Hidan."

Hidan looked away. Orochimaru's eyes didn't move.

"You're tired of this life. You're served your Lord well for many years. All those dutiful sacrifices, all for him. You've been working for him your whole life, you crave recognition from him, I know. But your immortality – Jashin's own gift to you – it prevents that."

Hidan physically tensed, and Orochimaru smiled. It was working. Hidan still wouldn't meet his gaze.

"It's cruel. He gave you the most powerful tool to execute his wishes with. But in return, you can never know him."

Yellow eyes bore into purple ones. Orochimaru's hand was out, palm up, waiting for him.

Orochimaru's words fazed Hidan deeply. He'd forgotten how damn slippery this man was. He didn't know what to say. He refused to raise his eyes; he felt that if he looked at Orochimaru right now, he would go to him. Trust a snake to be an ace at persuasion.

Hidan's shoulder throbbed, the curse testing the seal's boundaries. His indecision was doing him no good. He was hovering between two choices – and he hated it. The Fuuja Houin ran on willpower, and he was starting to run low. He could feel the curse redoubling its efforts to break through and regain control, and as soon as that happened, he knew which way his mind would turn. He shifted from one foot to the other in attempt to clear his head.

His rosary knocked against his chest – and his eyes widened in understanding. Hidan knew his answer.

Hidan looked up, and Orochimaru hardly dared to breathe. Hidan took a step forward, and smirked. He swiftly brought his scythe round, and held it in front of him.

"How can I die when there's still bastards like you to eliminate? I'll go when Jashin-sama calls me, heathen!"

He dove at Orochimaru, scythe curving through the air. Orochimaru grimaced and moved back. Hidan was only inches away. Laughter echoed off the grey walls. The longest blade of the scythe connected, and traced a thin, red line across his cheek.

…


	15. Chapter 15

Chaaaaah…I'm updating. O_o

Ch. 15

Time seemed to slow as Orochimaru moved, and the scythe continued its deadly curve. The air was suddenly ripe with foreboding. Heart pounding, the snake nin looked up at the immortal. The scythe wound through the air and found its way back into Hidan's hands. The blade began its ascent to his mouth. With rising panic, Orochimaru caught himself as he fell back. He couldn't afford to waste time. Maybe if he could just knock it from Hidan's hands?

He kicked off the ground and flew at Hidan. The Akatsuki's eyes widened, but he quickly got over his surprise. Orochimaru swiped, scythe within reach. Kusanagi struck the edge forcefully, but Hidan held onto it. Hurriedly, he pulled it away from the sannin. He carried it out of Orochimaru's reach, enjoying the pained look on his face. This was the best way to exact his revenge. His tongue quickly travelled along the blade, licking off the metallic fluid with practised ease.

As if by instinct, Orochimaru sprang, landing a short distance away, his features contorted bitterly. The scythe hadn't stopped moving. It tore at Hidan's exposed arm, staining it red. It dripped, and Hidan's foot caught it, smearing it on the floor into a faithful replica of his rosary. Orochimaru surveyed it with an odd look, mind working fervently on another strategy.

Hidan was thoroughly enjoying every minute of this. Orochimaru was stumped, he could tell. The curse mark's leftover adrenaline still working its way through his body, he twirled the scythe around until it pointed at his bare chest. His skin blackened, white marks standing out starkly, bright and clean, begging to be spoiled. It was white canvas, ready to be painted with blood. Brimming with anticipation, a few excited laughs escaped his mouth.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this. And I'm gonna make it as excruciating as hell, just for you."

…

Kakuzu bounded down the corridors, straining his senses for any sign of life. Not far, not far…how damn far was 'not far'?! He sincerely hoped Sasori had killed that worm of a shinobi.

Endless amounts of lamps and infinite numbers of doors passed him. As he checked every corner, every fork in his path, and retraced his steps, his mind formed a plan of the area, and he began to see the layout of the architecture. His own path he named the main path, though there was little to distinguish it from the others except for a slightly broader width. The many different paths that led off this 'main' path were not dead-ending, as he had assumed, but in fact, each one rejoined the main path either further on or further back, and sometimes on the other side. He learned to ignore them, and concentrate on his chosen one. He couldn't imagine 'not far' being down one of the side tunnels.

He had barely begun to follow his plan when an end to the tunnel appeared on the edge of his vision. He immediately sped up, eager to end his time in the corridor. His feet pounded against the floor, all sense of stealth thrown to the side.

It took him longer than usual to hear someone approaching. That someone burst from a side path, light feet heading relentlessly for him.

He caught the small sound, and instantly stopped and leaped back. His attacker flew past, Kakuzu's eyes following him intently. An adolescent boy landed neatly in front of him, blocking his way. His clothes marked him as one of Orochimaru's closest, and Kakuzu readied himself. The child was most likely one of Orochimaru's latest prodigies.

The boy gave him a sideways look through a curtain of white, shoulder-length hair. His eyes were green and framed underneath with red marks. Two crimson spots sat just above his eyebrows. He fixed Kakuzu with a cold stare.

"I won't let you interrupt the ritual."

Kakuzu stared back, unfazed.

"Move, boy."

The strange child looked away. His hand travelled up to his shoulder, brushing the skin gently. As Kakuzu watched warily, threads already snaking their way out from his arms, the child suddenly thrust his hand in his shoulder. The skin around it ruptured and receded, and his hand curled into a fist. His grip turned his knuckles white. A moment later, he ripped out a long, thin, bloodied bone. As Kakuzu watched, tension building, his shoulder injury sealed up, leaving no trace of the deep wound. The boy brought the bone around to face the intruder, and looked up again.

"Orochimaru-sama's ritual is his life. I promised to protect that, at all costs. You can't pass."

"Hn."

Kakuzu's tone was one of disdain. Those sound ninja didn't know when to stop. He'd make this quick. Bones could be broken; especially when there was no skin or sinew to go through first. However, the boy's recovery rate made Kakuzu uneasy, it reminded him too much of Hidan's. One immortal was bad enough.

Kakuzu lunged forward, solidified fist hurtling towards the young shinobi. Fist met bone – and Kakuzu heard a satisfying crack. The boy's face remained blank, and Kakuzu' eyes widened. Glancing down, he saw the bone was still intact, except for a small crack that revealed itself as he pulled away.

"Surprised?"

Kakuzu glared at the young boy. The bone was out again, pointed directly at his chest.

"This is my kekkei genkai. Don't underestimate it."

Kakuzu dodged as the bone came his way again. The boy was tougher than he looked, he give him that. The bone whistled through the air, but the speed of the attack had left him plenty of time to side step away. He was being tested. Such an amateur trick. Careful not to reveal his true strength, Kakuzu blocked a few more jabs. The boy's attacks were cautious, and Kakuzu began to feel that the boy only meant to ward him off, and avoid killing.

But suddenly, his opponent stepped back and raised the bone high, summoning a great deal of chakra to his limbs. Kakuzu gave a start.

"Yanagi no mai! Willow dance!"

He snapped out of his mechanical blocking and threw himself back as the bone weapon stabbed at him from all angles. It seemed to multiply, long white swords filling the space before him, while the boy darted behind them, the conductor of this bizarre performance.

He was being pushed back; the boy's movements left no room for a counter attack. He avoided backing into any walls; he couldn't let himself get cornered-

Or could he?

He swerved to the side, narrowly avoiding a bone to the face. The boy followed, hesitating only briefly at Kakuzu's sudden change of tack.

It was an obvious trick, but the child seemed inexperienced in the area of cunning.

"Hah!"

Kakuzu dodged a particularly violent swipe. The boy was finally getting frustrated. He took the chance to back into the nearest wall, eyes on the flash of white travelling through the air,

Half a second later, the boy was at him. Kakuzu's eyes never left him; watching him carefully, predicting his next strike. The white flash diverted his attention, and locking onto it, he lurched to the side. The bone missed his unguarded side, and buried itself in the wall. Kakuzu acted quickly. The boy had to pause to pull out his weapon. In two brisk movements, Kakuzu shortened his distance and thrust a fist into the boy's chest. His opponent was unprepared. Kakuzu put all his force into the impact and soon heard several cracks. The child's eyes widened in shock. But something was wrong. Kakuzu frowned. The connection had come too early; something else had taken the hit. Both shinobi looked down, and Kakuzu felt a twinge of annoyance.

The boy's ribs were protruding from his chest cavity, protecting his vitals. Kakuzu noted with some consolidating satisfaction that several were broken. A shadow of a smirk flitted across the young one's face He pulled the bone completely out of the wall and stood back.

"Please, missing nin. Stop making this easy."

Kakuzu didn't reply.

The child fell into another stance, and raised his bone again – only to freeze, a strange, tortured look on his face as a sudden sharp pain engulfed his chest.

…

Grinning with blatant delight, Hidan plunged the scythe into his right thigh. Pain radiated from the torn muscle all through his body, and he shivered in pleasure as he caught Orochimaru's sharp intake of breath. He looked up slowly, putting more pressure on the injured leg as he did. He saw Orochimaru's features contort in barely disguised pain and his grin grew wider.

"And that's only the start… This pain is nothing compared to hitting an organ!"

Laughing hysterically, he tore the scythe out of his leg, blood spattering the grey floor.

Hidan was in ecstasy, he couldn't recall the last time he'd enjoyed a ritual quite this much. How many more wounds could he inflict before Orochimaru bled to death? He leered at his sacrifice, scythe swinging idly from his hands, smirking as Orochimaru's leg reddened.

The snake nin was too quiet. Time to make him scream. Hidan suddenly gripped the scythe handle, turning it towards himself again. It stayed barely inches from his black skin. Hidan's voice rang out with mock indecision.

"Hn… Where to go for now? Here? Or here?"

The scythe brushed the surface of his skin as he brought it up his arm.

"Or maybe you're looking for something a little stronger?"

He sniggered, scythe pointed at his gut. He waited, purposely drawing out the suspense.

Much to his indignation, Orochimaru looked up from his bleeding leg to Hidan and smiled.

"Ah, Hidan-kun. If you'd wanted to do this the hard way, you could have told me earlier."

Hidan's face dropped a little. This wasn't the reaction he wanted. He gripped the scythe handle harder, ready to bury it in his abdomen at the slightest provocation. Orochimaru didn't take his eyes off him.

"I have to admit, it is more fun this way… So stubborn. Your unwillingness to co-operate makes me want you even more."

"Damn it, you just don't take 'fuck off' as an answer do you?"

Would this guy ever stop patronising him?

He brandished his scythe.

"Give it up!"

The scythe passed right through his body, blades glistening wetly as they stuck out through the small of his back. Hidan and Orochimaru cried out, one in intense pain, the other in sadistic delight. Hidan jerked his head up to see the effect it had on his opponent – whether Orochimaru still had the gall or the strength to speak to him again.

He cursed loudly in undisguised fury.

Orochimaru's body fell heavily to the ground – but not before he had shed it, bursting out of the vestigial body's wide mouth, unharmed.

Hidan's rage at his failed attempt momentarily took second place to his confusion at seeing Orochimaru's new form. Hundreds of small white snakes replaced the trunk and limbs of Orochimaru's human body, and though his long, trailing black hair and piercing yellow eyes, framed in purple remained, his face took on a decidedly more snake-like appearance. Hidan didn't know it, but he was staring in disbelief at Orochimaru's real body.

Orochimaru's wounds had disappeared. Hidan cursed colourfully, and wrenched the scythe back out. Orochimaru gave no reaction other than to gather up his writhing coils and lift his serpentine head high, towering over the enraged shinobi below.

"Shit!"

The curse had been undone. Hidan gritted his teeth. He'd have to re-establish the connection. Twirling his scythe around experimentally, he wondered briefly whether Orochimaru even had blood while in this state. He soon dismissed the thought – it was just an animal now, sacrificing wasn't particularly necessary anymore. He'd just dice the thing, end of.

The snake was swaying, watching his every move, waiting for a chance to attack. Hidan clutched his scythe in both hands and sprinted at it. It lurched to the side, tail flicking, and he narrowly avoided being knocked to the ground. He jumped and landed behind it, whirling around to restart his attack. He moved in for the snake's blind spot – then a sharp scent laced his air supply, and his lungs burned. Poison! More fucking poison! Hidan covered his face and bounced back. He coughed, trying to get it out of his system, but it was too late, it had already entered his bloodstream. He grimaced as a tingling sensation spread from his chest outwards. It probably induced paralysis, though thankfully he could still move, as he demonstrated by dodging another sweep from the tail. It came back around, and he threw himself away as the tree-trunk sized white mass slammed into the concrete. Cursing, he realised the poison was slowing him down.

"The skin of the white snake produces a paralysing vapour on contact with the air."

It took Hidan a second or two to realise the voice was coming from the snake. Panting a little, he glared at it. The giant snake inclined its head towards him.

"It's useful for immobilising prey."

Hidan gave a small smirk.

"It's a bitch alright, but you're forgetting who you're dealing with."

He waved a hand casually in the huge snake's direction.

"I can move."

Orochimaru's characteristic low laugh rippled from the snake's white throat.

"True, but it succeeded in demobilising you long enough for the ritual to begin."

"Wha-?"

A sudden movement to his right made Hidan glance over his shoulder. He gave a start and turned around. Orochimaru's coils had been moving in wide circle the whole time, cutting off his escape routes. The air was rank with the smell of venom, and Hidan's movements grew more sluggish.

"Fucking pussy, using you poison-"

He held his scythe up, though his arm shook slightly from strain. Low laughter filled his living enclosure.

"It's too late for that, Hidan-kun!"

His voice grew dangerously soft.

"Your body…your immortality…are now mine."

His words sent a chill down Hidan's spine, and he opened his mouth to retaliate.

But all at once, his surroundings melted into a blur of colour, shapes that could only be snakes wove through the air, forming a new, otherworldly landscape. With rising uneasiness, he turned back to the main body just in time to see the giant head hurtle towards him, blocking everything else from view.

.. .. ..

The dialogue is cliché heaven. But if I'd typed what I'd originally written, the rating would've had to go up quite a bit. XD I think you can guess who Kakuzu-chan is fighting. Why? To be honest, to give him something to do before...stuff. :S


	16. Chapter 16

Hello! :D I'm updating – ta-dah~! I have to warn you, this chapter is really bizarre…Trust me to make Orochi's thing as weird as possible. :S I might redo it before I write the next one…

Oh, and I'm just going to refer to the boy Kakuzu's fighting as Kimimaro. It's just easier. -_-

Please enjoy!

Ch. 16

Instinctively, Hidan raised his arms to defend himself – but the gigantic serpent's mouth passed over him as if he wasn't there. Absolute darkness followed, and Hidan couldn't be sure if he was in a mouth or a vacuum. The poison was disappearing, giving him his motility back. Grimacing, he decided to try reversing, meaning to escape between the teeth before Orochimaru swallowed him, or whatever happened in this placed happened.

His feet left unseen ground, and he landed a good distance behind. He glanced over his shoulder – there was nothing but black behind him. No jaws, no training ground framed with pointed teeth, just darkness.

He gave a start and opened his clenched fists. His scythe was gone again! He cursed and threw his eyes uselessly around, frustrated and slightly panicky.

A speck of light drew his eyes forward and he watched warily as similar patches of colour, dark purples and dusty reds poured from the darkness, painting a landscape on the nothingness.

A pair of golden eyes opened a short distance away, soon followed by the rest of Orochimaru's body. He gave Hidan a satisfied grin, tongue lolling out the corner of his mouth. Hidan scowled.

"Bastard – what the hell is all this?"

Orochimaru's grin widened in reply, and with a jump, Hidan noticed the floor of the landscape bubbling and churning under his feet. He tried to lift his feet away, but they were stuck fast. His breath came in short gasps as he realised the seething reddish ground was bubbling over his feet, climbing up, trapping and binding him. He cursed as other masses came from the sides and caught hold of his arms. He wrenched his arms away before they taken completely.

"You think I'll fall to this? This is nothing!"

Hidan glanced at Orochimaru – and exclaimed in disbelief as he saw the exact same thing happening to him. Orochimaru was covered in the stuff; only his face could be seen, but he wasn't giving any resistance – and he continued to stare evenly back as Hidan's situation steadily worsened.

To make matters even more disturbing, other forms were rising through the floor – people; bodies covered into the red goo; like Orochimaru, their faces were the only thing visible; blank and lost in sleep. Hidan tore his eyes away from them and back to Orochimaru and glared at him in silence.

"They are all that remains of my old bodies…" Orochimaru drawled, eyes still fixed on his latest prize.

Hidan's glare deepened in defiance.

"You shouldn't worry, Hidan-kun. Their strong personalities remained as residual aura when I took over their bodies. I'm sure your ardent faith will find a way into my personality after I've done the same to you."

Orochimaru's eyes bore into Hidan's, and something vaguely resembling a shiver ran down his back.

He didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but a low murmur of fear was gradually working its way through his system. It had been so long since he'd properly felt fear – the last of his adrenaline pumping around his body, willing it to move, making his trapped limbs shake, that offish, empty feeling in his stomach, and the beginnings of a cold sweat. Never had anything threatened his immortality to such an extent as to make Hidan afraid.

He didn't know how he was going to get out of this.

Orochimaru's calm, controlled, bordering triumphant air didn't help.

In times like these, rare as they were, the only thing Hidan could do was pray. Though his scythe was gone, he still felt the weight of his rosary around his neck. The symbol of a follower of Jashin.

That simple thought did it.

Anger rising, he roused himself. He'd been drifting towards complacency this whole time, like some weakling, unworthy of Jashin's trust. He shook his head, dispelling the shadow of fear. Things looked hopeless, sure. But Hidan didn't believe in hopelessness. Where he was concerned, anyway. He looked Orochimaru straight in the vertical pupils and inhaled.

"Jashin-same will never forsake me! My body is a tool for him and you're retarded if you think I'll hand it over to you!"

Hidan's voice grew in volume as his fervency increased.

"If you so much as dip your fucking wraithy toe in here, I'll force you out! If you make it in, I'll tear myself to pieces! If you stop me, I'll scream at you from inside my head!"

He started fighting against the goo again, but to no avail.

"You'll never have a moment's peace as long as I'm here! You'll face judgement day after day for possessing a disciple of Jashin, you fucking heathen scum!"

Hidan's breath came more ragged than before as he strained against his bindings. Orochimaru hadn't said anything during his outburst, but now he drifted closer, until he was barely a foot from Hidan's enraged face.

"Passionate words, Hidan-kun. But it's no use struggling. This is my dimension, created solely for the transfer ritual. It's impossible to escape from here. Your god has abandoned you, but you can reconcile yourself with him in the afterlife."

Suddenly, all of Orochimaru's condescension disappeared.

"This is your death, Hidan. You've dodged it for long time, but now you've run out of options. I, true immortal, will be the one to reap _your_ soul."

The word 'reap' seemed to echo in the silence that followed. All at once, the bubbling goo multiplied, climbing up Hidan's body at a furious rate. He lashed out, trying to shake it off, but it held firm. He felt it cover him completely, finally moving itself across his face.

The last thing he saw was Orochimaru's face, inches from his own, then darkness descended.

…

Kimimaro coughed, and a small stream of blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Several more drops hit the rocky floor. The corridor was silent; the only noise was the steady drip of young blood staining the floor under the two combatants. Kakuzu stood, stoic, one hand extended towards his opponent's chest. A tangled mess of threads was buried in the boy's ribcage, entwined around his still beating heart. Blood ran hesitatingly down the black cords, soaking into Kakuzu's bloodstream.

Adapting to their new body.

"You're foolish and naïve, boy. This little game has cost you your life."

Kakuzu held the boy tightly. His threads were already starting to sever the keirakukei. A whimper escaped the child's mouth, and with great effort, Kimimaro raised his head.

"I couldn't kill you… but I fulfilled my duty. Orochimaru-sama's ritual will succeed…it's finished. I know it."

His breathing was shallow and uneven, his voice weak, but still, the corners of his mouth turned up in an unmistakeable smile.

"You're the one that has lost, Akatsuki!"

His coughing increased, each one racking his whole body.

"Because of your friend, Orochimaru has gained a completely new way of life-"

Kakuzu's threads involuntarily constricted. The boy wheezed, blood flowing freely from his mouth as he exhaled. He took a couple of seconds to recover from the attack, then continued, his voice occasionally breaking into quiet laughter despite the obvious pain he was in.

"He has immortality!"

At the moment, an awful sound burst from the room at the end of the hall. Kakuzu and Kimimaro gave a start. It was a scream; a harsh, blood-curdling shriek, and it made both of them freeze, eyes trained on the door. The scream continued for a few more seconds, and was then abruptly cut off.

The boy stared at the door, a shadow of doubt crossing his pained features.

"Orochimaru-sama…"

Kakuzu's eyes darted from the door to the boy. Neither one of them knew who had screamed out with such desperation, but both were equally on edge.

He couldn't stand it any longer. Kakuzu threw the boy on the ground, ripping his threads out roughly. Kimimaro cried out as the threads opened his wounds and his bleeding increased. Kakuzu darted past, not sparing him a glance. He went straight to the door. Locked. That wasn't a problem. But if an immortal Orochimaru lay on the other side…

"You've failed, you know," Kimimaro's frail voice cracked.

"Go and die with your partner!"

"I don't plan to," Kakuzu replied monotonously.

The door caved under his diamond-hard punch.

…

Hidan's body shuddered as he felt the lightest pressure against his front. It lasted only a second – the next one passed, and his body went numb. The numbness swept upwards and rushed to his head, and he felt his eyes roll back. He blacked out momentarily – and was jolted awake again by a wailing, frustrated shriek. It echoed around his skull, growing in emotion and volume, wiping away any trace of unconsciousness.

The screaming filled Hidan's head, making it ache. He had no idea what was happening. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear anything other than that shriek in his head. He tried to think – that noise was coming from somewhere inside – had he screamed? He couldn't remember. Why would he have screamed? There was nothing here to scream at. Where was Orochimaru?

Hidan stopped. Thinking made his head pound even more.

All at once, the most bizarre sensation ripped through his body. He was acutely aware of every cell, every organ, every limb – and an overwhelming feeling of tightness. Something – himself? – felt like it was being crushed into a small space, and at the same time tugged in all directions. It was as if his very thoughts were being stretched, then balled up and forced through the tiny gaps between his cells. The outside of his skin was coated with that familiar burn – the curse mark. It was aiding the pushing somehow – it seemed to burn deeper than usual, trying to incinerate the parts that were being pushed to the surface.

Hidan didn't know what was doing the pushing, only that it was malicious and different, and he wanted it to stop. The screaming continued, though he had grown used to it, but now it grew fainter, then stronger again, like a failing transmitter. The pushing didn't falter, but grew in intensity. The sensation was getting stronger too, and Hidan felt that if he'd had breath at this stage he would have been winded.

Suddenly, he felt his whole being shoved against the inside of his skin, the curse mark redoubling his efforts on the outside. The malicious force was trying and trying as hard as it could to force him out. Hidan couldn't resist- he didn't know how to when he felt so immaterial. He only knew that he couldn't go – it wasn't possible.

He was stuck - glued to his material self. The force was tugging and pushing and pulling at every part of his being, but he wasn't torn or damaged in any way. Hidan wasn't even sure if it hurt, or if he just thought it should.

True to his feeling, he didn't budge. The pushing never stopped – and Hidan was getting pissed off. _It's not going to work_, he yelled at the screaming, _Fucking stop already!_

Anger gave him force. Without thinking, he acted, letting his emotion flow out. It produced a force, and began to counter the foreign existence. He wanted it out, and out now.

'_No!'_ came an outraged voice, _'This is impossible! How is it that you-'_

The other being was putting up one hell of a fight, but it didn't have Hidan's complete immovability. Within seconds –or minutes, or hours- Hidan felt something give. The marks on his skin went wild as something they hadn't expected was forced harshly and without restraint through the cracks. Hidan reeled as the other thing left, and his immaterial self was freed. His body no longer felt too tight, quite the opposite. It didn't feel wrong anymore, and slowly, his over-awareness faded as his life force rushed back through him to fill every available space.

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The screaming was gone, the sounds of the outside world washed in; his own panting, and someone else's laboured breathing. The ground felt painful on his bare back; there were small particles of rock embedded in his wounds.

He was holding something cold, cylindrical and hard in his right hand. It felt familiar and he half-consciously tightened his grip on it.

He grimaced as he shifted slightly, and with a stab of irritation, he realised he still couldn't see. He lay there frowning for a few seconds, until he noticed his eyes were closed. Still unsure of what he was about to see, he opened them a fraction. Light poured in and made them sting. Shutting them again, he threw himself into a sitting position. His back and stomach throbbed, and using his free hand, he blindly inspected the source of the pain. His eyes opened automatically as his fingers touched cold blood. His stabs wounds from cursing Orochimaru were still there…

Hidan's head shot up, black dots dancing around the edge of his vision from blood loss. and instantly met Orochimaru's livid stare. The sannin seemed a lot worse off than him; his leg was still bleeding freely, and his face was haggard and drawn like a corpse's, but as Hidan watched, incredulous, tiny white snakes were weaving in and out his body, healing the stab wounds as best they could. The white snake had disappeared.

Hidan got carefully to his feet, still unsure of his stability. He used his scythe as a support, until his head cleared. Facing the wounded snake-nin, he flashed Orochimaru a smirk, their most recent conversation fresh in his mind.

"Still here, bitch."

Orochimaru's tone was one of barely controlled rage.

"It appears I've made an error regarding that immortality of yours. Here I thought it was merely a physical condition-"

Hidan picked up his scythe in both hands, his expression audacious.

"-But how could I have guessed that your soul is literally trapped in there. The results of a jutsu that even surpasses my own…"

His voice took on a more spiteful tone.

"The prized lab rat of the Jashin cult."

Hidan cracked his neck nonchalantly.

"Squeak."

He blanched at Orochimaru's indifference.

"Oh come on, that seriously sounded like a rat."

The corners of Orochimaru's mouth twitched upwards in an expression quite different to the one Hidan was looking for.

"Well then, I can't let that sort of vermin run free."

Hidan's eyes widened as Orochimaru's hands flew in a flurry of signs. Snakes burst from his sleeves and rocketed towards him, fangs glinting. His scythe tore through the first onslaught, and he launched himself into the air to avoid the next. He heard the arrival of several summons and cursed. Fucker never ran out of chakra, did he?

Suddenly, something caught his ankle Cursing, he lashed out at it with his scythe. But before his scythe could sever it, his wrists were captured and it slipped out of his hands. He felt himself falling, being dragged down by numerous reptiles, and a second later, he connected hard with the rocky floor. He cried out as several ribs cracked. The snakes were on him at once, weighing his limbs down. Orochimaru appeared at his side instantaneously.

"Such a unique rat – poison won't work, and neither will a trap."

Hidan spat out the words,

"Fucking hilarious."

Orochimaru only leaned in closer, a hard look in his golden eyes.

"I suppose I'll have to lock him up until I figure him out."

The towering serpents behind him leered. Hidan scowled, defiant.

"You think I'll-"

A deafening crash, and the sound of something heavy splintering into thousands of shards interrupted him. Two sets of eyes took in the sight of the ruined iron door, and the masked figure glaring at them through bright green eyes.

.. .. ..

Kakuzu to the rescue~! Lol, 'bitch'. I may have taken the rat thing a little too far. ^^;

'Til next time…


	17. Chapter 17

Hello again! ^_^ This one's a little messy, I'm afraid. Tying up loose ends and such. POVs are sometimes mixed again. ^^; I decided not to redo that last chapter…I didn't even look over it much. :( Reviews are always welcome, please enjoy.

Ch. 17

There was a moment of silence as Kakuzu took in the scene before him; Orochimaru's startled, livid glance, which quickly dissolved into his calculating stare, Hidan's wide, incredulous eyes and the snakes that bound him to the floor. Evidently, he was needed.

Hidan scowled to cover the immense sense of relief the sight of Kakuzu had given him.

"I thought Pein sent you like a week ago?! Where were you?"

"You were supposed to stay put," snapped Kakuzu. His stitches unravelled quickly as Orochimaru straightened up and stepped back from Hidan. Several snakes rose with him, glowing eyes turned towards the intruder. Hidan tensed and tried to lift himself, but the snakes hissed angrily and merely tightened their grip. Orochimaru's eyes left Kakuzu's momentarily.

"Hush, Hidan-kun. I haven't forgotten about you."

"Fuck you!"

Orochimaru chuckled, turning to Kakuzu again.

"I can't imagine why you of all people, Kakuzu, would go to all this trouble to rescue such a troublesome partner."

Kakuzu's expression was unreadable.

"He's convenient."

"Gee thanks, asshole."

Kakuzu duly ignored this. His three remaining extra hearts burst from his torn back and stood in an offensive formation. Orochimaru slapped his bloody hand on the floor, and three giant snakes appeared, guarding the two from Kakuzu. Hidan tched.

"I fucking hate snakes."

There was no reply.

"Raiton – Gian!"

There was a sharp hiss as one of the giant snakes fell to Kakuzu's lightning heart. The other serpents were roused to anger and launched themselves at the masked figures, fangs connecting with black thread as they tried to throw them down. Hissing, poison, wind, earth, water and lightning sounds exploded from the scene, while the two combatants stared at each other through their weapons' mêlée.

In a heartbeat, Kakuzu was across the room. Hardened fist met legendary blade, and their battle began.

Even with his hard skin covering, Kakuzu felt Kusanagi's bite and he winced as it caught his forearm. Orochimaru must have noticed, as he pressed Kakuzu back, his sword work gaining ferocity. Kakuzu continuously blocked, punched and kicked out, always looking for an opening, a way to disable the sannin.

The blade came down hard at his head and he caught it in both hands. It was a stalemate. For the first time in the fight, Kakuzu took in the snake nin's appearance fully. The sight almost made him falter.

Orochimaru looked terrible. Though his various wounds were closed, his clothes were heavily bloodstained. His face was haggard, his eyes wide and bloodshot and his long back hair was matted with dried blood.

What was he fighting on?

He looked like he was keeping himself together by sheer force of will.

The two sprang apart as a snake came crashing between them, landing heavily on its back. Orochimaru's snakes were falling, but as he risked a glance around before Orochimaru could come at him again, he noticed a couple of casualties on his side too.

Movement to his left made him turn his head – and he quickly knocked the airborne Orochimaru aside. His fist caught the other's wrist, and Kusanagi was loosened. The clatter of metal on concrete told Kakuzu Orochimaru was unarmed. He whirled around and dealt the snake nin another winding blow, and sent him flying across the training ground.

Finally gaining the upper hand, Kakuzu raced after him to finish off the weakened shinobi. His lightning heart sailed over his head as he pounded across to where Orochimaru lay. The snakes' numbers were dwindling, and so he gestured to the heart to follow him.

Orochimaru looked up at him through half closed eyes, a smirk still showing though a trickled of blood ran down his chin.

Kakuzu roughly lifted him up. He looked winded, and as far as Kakuzu could see he couldn't speak. And yet, when he grinned and threw his eyes over to where Hidan and the snakes were, Kakuzu understood at once. He followed the sannin's gaze – and threw the snake nin down forcefully in anger.

Hidan was gone.

Where had that damned masochist gone now? Kakuzu's patience was on its last legs already, if that idiot of a partner had run off again, Kakuzu would leave him here. Quickly, he scanned the room.

A small hidden door leading out of the stadium was just closing. Cursing, Kakuzu threw the sannin a regretful look, ran with the two remaining hearts to the door and flung it open.

Glancing over his shoulder, he noted that Orochimaru still hadn't got up. Taking that as a good sign, he continued on, the Katon heart slamming the door shut behind them.

He was leaving too many people alive today.

…

While Kakuzu and Orochimaru had been fighting, several of the smaller snakes that had been guarding Hidan had taken on human forms – Sound shinobi, and had lifted him bodily up, ignoring his murderous cries, and borne him through the door.

Right now, they were racing up the passageway, taking him Jashin knows where.

Some snakes were still binding him – he now loathed the creatures with a passion – the rest had been replaced by equally strong hands, and he couldn't break free. He was trussed up like some wild animal headed for the slaughter.

But they wouldn't kill him. They couldn't, obviously. No, if these bastards got their way, he'd be locked up in some guarded dungeon, subject to that freak's experiments.

Hidan gritted his teeth, a low growl escaping past his profanities. He was weapon less again, but he'd rip out their throats with his teeth given the opportunity.

"Kabuto-sama!"

Hidan turned his head to where the leader of his abductors had shouted at. He was motioning at a silhouette at the top of the passageway, and Hidan squinted against the light behind the figure. He looked vaguely familiar. They drew closer, and his jaw dropped. Some of his captors threw him curious looks.

"You're the one who-"

It was the spy he'd met outside the Akatsuki base.

Kabuto averted his eyes and addressed the leader of the party.

"Through here-"

"I fucking KNEW you weren't from Akatsuki!"

As the group filed into the smaller tunnel Kabuto had pointed out, Hidan glared at him.

"I'm gonna rip you to shreds, bastard!"

Before Kabuto could reply, an agonised yell came from the passage, and Hidan's captors fell back, the first two dead. The others were thrown into disarray, and Hidan was unceremoniously dropped as the vanguard scrambled to form a protective ring around him and Kabuto.

"I'd prefer of you didn't slaughter my new spy, Hidan."

Hidan gaped.

"Sasori?"

Hiruko shuffled into view, weapons out and glistening with poison and blood. There was movement from Kabuto and his chakra scalpel traced red lines on the sound ninja's throats. They fell to their knees, blood gushing from their necks and adding a sickening gurgle to their cries.

Hidan's hissing bonds were next – as soon as the immortal was freed, he leapt to his feet and flung Kabuto against the wall. The bespectacled shinobi let out a squeak; Hidan had him by the throat.

"What the hell's going on?"

All at once, he felt chakra strings pulling at his fingers, prising them away from the sound shinobi's neck. He looked at Sasori suspiciously. Hiruko stared emotionlessly back.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get good sound spies? He's close to Orochimaru, we need him for information."

"How do you know he won't turn on us?"

Sasori sounded affronted.

"My seal, of course."

Scowling, Hidan let Kabuto drop. The shinobi fell against the wall, gasping. Hidan turned his back on him – and got a large, furious fist to the jaw.

As he fell heavily to the ground, Sasori remarked casually,

"Ah. Kakuzu."

Hidan got slowly to his feet, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"Shit, Kakuzu. Take a few teeth next time, why don't you? What was that for?"

He met Kakuzu's livid eyes as he straightened up.

"I should hit you again for asking that."

"It's nice to see you too."

Hiruko hulked down the passage into the main corridor.

"Come on – we got what we came for. What happened to Orochimaru?"

Kakuzu took a glance down the passageway that led to the arena.

"He's still alive I think – I left him to go after this idiot."

Hidan was indignant.

"You left him alive?!"

But Kakuzu's murderous glare silenced him.

"Don't give me that. You've had a lot more chances to kill him than I."

Sasori kept moving.

"It can't be helped. We have to move."

Kakuzu took a step, and then they froze. All three of them could hear reinforcements coming; the hideout suddenly teemed with activity on the floor above and below them. Shinobi appeared at the end of the corridor, armed to the teeth and fingers blurring in handsigns.

Kakuzu's hearts jumped ahead, blasting out jutsu of their own. Kakuzu, not taking his eyes off them, took something from his battered sleeve and tossed it to Hidan.

"Here. Make yourself useful."

Hidan caught it just as it extended fully. He grinned in relief.

"My pike! Where'd-"

"Outside."

Kakuzu's hearts skirted backwards, edging towards the tunnel as more shinobi rounded the corner and into view. Kakuzu backed up.

"Back down the passageway. We're not here to start a war."

Sasori was already following the hearts the down the side tunnel back to the arena. The other two turned and ran after them, Hidan tching loudly.

…

Orochimaru could feel his broken and bruised body rejecting him. He lay, spread eagled, where Kakuzu had thrown him, hearing fading in and out, his eyes still wild and desperate, clinging to life. He wouldn't die here. There was so much more to be done, so many ideas, so may theories he needed tested.

He needed a body – any one's, he didn't care anymore. Not when he was this dilapidated.

Anyone's, except Hidan's.

He mentally berated himself. He should have seen this coming, If only Hidan had been caught sooner, and Orochimaru had had the time to study him more. He had underestimated Akatsuki – a foolish mistake born of his own pride. He never thought Pein would practically imprison a member to keep them out of harm's way.

Putting it out of his mind, Orochimaru's eyes roved around, looking for something, anything that would keep him alive. With each passing second, Orochimaru grew more fearful of his death. A post mortem of the events would not help his situation now.

His fingers twitched. Concentrating all his remaining strength to his hand, he beckoned to two small purple snakes, all that were left of his summons.

As soon as they reached him, a flick of his wrist sent them off again, a single mission in mind.

They soon vanished from his sight, and his hand flopped back down. A minute passed, and his eyes were becoming heavy and unfocused, but at the moment, he felt the vibrations of footsteps coming towards him.

"Orochimaru-sama! Please hold on!"

He didn't even take in his rescuer's appearance, he barely recognised her fully, but as soon as he set eyes on her, she was doomed.

The snakes hissed loudly, and Orochimaru's body grew still, the facial features changing to that of a younger face.

The girl's eyes turned a bright gold, and she vanished, her wide grin the last thing to disperse.

…

The side door was torn from its hinges as Hiruko, Kakuzu and Hidan burst into the empty arena. Orochimaru's old body lay a small distance from them. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed, his back still restitching itself around the last two of his extra hearts.

"He's gone."

Hidan gave the body a look of disgust and turned away.

"Good riddance. Fucking psycho."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"That means he's not dead, Hidan!"

"My scythe!"

Ignoring Kakuzu, Hidan picked up his weapon and slung it on his bare back.

"Hey -You didn't happen to get my cloak while you were-"

"I wasn't sent to pick up after you."

Hidan opened his mouth to retort, but Sasori interrupted.

"They're coming."

The other two glanced back down the tunnel. Hiruko and Kakuzu moved to the centre of the arena.

"Forget about it, Hidan. It's time we left."

Hidan scoffed.

"Well it's kind of hard to escape when there's enemies coming through every door."

The three grouped together as kunai and shuriken started flying through the tunnels. Hidan's scythe was out, held loosely in his hands. The fist barrage reached them and he dutifully knocked them off course. The threads on Kakuzu's left arm unravelled.

"In that case, we'll make our own door."

Inside Hiruko, Sasori put his hands over his ears.

Kakuzu's fist smashed through the high ceiling, demolishing it. He leaped upwards as the rubble rained down, using the falling boulders to gain the extra height. Hiruko was in hot pursuit. Frowning, Hidan launched himself after them, just as purple and tan clad shinobi poured into the ruined battlefield. His scythe latched into the ground outside, and Hidan tugged at it, activating the recoil. It jammed.

"You _have_ to shitting me…"

The rubble was settling, but the air was rife with throwing weapons and jutsu. Hidan hauled himself up the rope; dodging air attacks all the while. There were some screams as he flung his pike into the nearest group, granting him a bit of relief from that side. Suddenly, explosive tags were flung from the hole above and into the crowd, narrowly avoiding Hidan. His head jerked up, glaring at the hole.

"Still down here, assholes!"

A tanned hand tugged at the scythe rope and Hidan suddenly accelerated. He caught the edge of the hole and dragged himself out, blatantly avoiding Kakuzu's impatient stare. Standing up, he ripped the scythe out of the ground. The other two were already running. Kakuzu called over his shoulder.

"Hurry up! Out of the village, then we'll teleport."

Hidan sighed, and glanced ruefully back down the hole. Shinobi were scaling the walls. He shrugged and turned away.

"Can't believe I'm walking away from so many potential sacrifices."

He kicked a stone down the hole, hoping he got someone, and ran after the other Akatsuki.

…

"Orochimaru-sama-"

"Ah, Kabuto. There you are."

The sound spy lowered his head briefly.

"The attack has ceased. They made it beyond the village borders."

There was a pause, and Kabuto frowned.

"Sir, if I may ask, why did you call off the attack? We could have recaptured them, there were enough of us…"

He trailed off as Orochimaru stood up from his chair and walked away from his subordinate. Kabuto was right to ask, of course. All of his servants must be wondering the same thing.

"Akatsuki no longer have any use for me."

Kabuto still looked puzzled; Orochimaru knew he was trying to figure him out. Kabuto had no idea what had happened between Orochimaru and Hidan. Orochimaru hadn't breathed a word about the failed transfer ritual, or what he had discovered about Hidan's immortality to anyone. He could understand that from the outside it looked as if he just let Hidan go, after months of tracking him. But this was the simplest reason he could give.

Kabuto opened his mouth to say something, but Orochimaru's hand shot up, requesting silence.

"If I had let all those duty driven pawns continue after them, it would have been a waste of subordinates. Those Akatsuki would have slaughtered them. The Sound Five-"

He corrected himself, a touch of bitterness entering his voice as he thought of Kimimaro.

"-The Sound Four were also in the crowd. I need them alive."

Kabuto's expression softened a little.

"Orochimaru-sama, Kimimaro's condition is stabilising-"

Orochimaru turned to face him again.

"Don't patronise me, Kabuto. I _know_ his condition."

He turned away, anger simmering under his calm exterior. Kimimaro had been such a promising candidate for soul transfer – his Kaguya bloodline, his elite skills, and his unwavering loyalty –

There was a smash as the sannin's fist slammed onto the desk in the lab, sending jars and flasks crashing to the floor.

Kabuto was immediately at his side.

"Orochimaru-sama, you've just transferred. Your health isn't perfect either, stop this."

The sannin seemed to get a hold of himself, and stepped away from the desk. He didn't look at Kabuto, but stared into open space.

"I've just transferred…that gives me three years to find Kimimaro's replacement."

Kabuto wasn't sure where this was going, but his eyes didn't leave Orochimaru. A grin suddenly broke out over Orochimaru's face.

"All this talk of Akatsuki has made me nostalgic. Itachi is out of the question, but I know there is one more Uchiha left..."

…

"Yes, we got him. His curse mark is gone."

"He thinks he lost it during the attempted soul transfer."

"Hey, bastards, stop talking about me like I'm not here. Let me talk to Pein!"

"…No, no punishment yet."

"Kakuzu did get him in the jaw."

"That felt good."

"What, you're ignoring me now? That's really immature, seriously. What age are you guys?"

"Hold on, we're almost at the base."

'_You can start without us.'_

"What are you talking about?!"

The two cloaked figures stopped suddenly, radiating menace. The other passed them before he too slowed down.

"What's with the hold up? We're gonna be – aargh!"

End.

I mentioned on my devART a/c, I'm thinking of making a doujinshi of this. :3

Thank you for reading all the way to (rushed) end, I hope it was as fun to read as it was to write.


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